The good things in life are good feelings, we live and die for our feelings, and every person on this planet wants to feel good every day.
A lot of being able to be consistently happy comes from inner work, things like gratitude, positive thinking, and mental toughness. And all those things are important, but what I’m talking about today is your outer reality.
I believe that every guy wants to be the man, whether he admits it to himself or not. Every guy wants money, women, respect, good food, good treatment wherever he goes, and maybe a little bit of fame – I know I do.
The truth is, I’ve done 20 years of spiritual study and work, from philosophy to Buddhism to Advaita to mystic Christianity and my ego is still as strong as it was when I was 7. I still want the same things, in fact, I’ve even built a business around getting those things.
I think having a spiritual practice is a great thing, but chances are, you’re not going to become the Buddha in this lifetime. So you might as well live as well as you can while you’re here. The same logic applies even if you don’t believe in any type of spirituality.
But unfortunately La Dolce Vita, or the good life, isn’t available for every guy. That’s not how the world works. The world needs factory workers and janitors. To get the good things in life you need to put in work, and you need to have a gameplan:
How To Get The Good Things In Life
1) Set High Standards
In life you have three choices:
To live life with low standards
To live life with medium standards
To live life with high standards
What do you want ?
If you want to live life with low standards you can stop reading now and save yourself some time, because you’ll never get the good things in life, it’s not possible.
If you want to be treated well, and you choose to have high standards, then read on.
By having high standards, it means you won’t settle for less than what you want, and you’ll keep working to get there.
And the good news is, just by having high standards, you’ve just stepped ahead of 90% of guys who aren’t even in the game. The average American watches 40 hours of TV a week, that’s an entire work week of TV watching. That’s an entire week of work devoted to mindless TV, when it could be devoted to building a business.
Everything starts with your standards.
2) Get Your Gameplan Together
Once you’ve determined that you’re going to set high standards for yourself, you need a gameplan to get what you want. Your gameplan should consist of these 3 things:
Defining exactly what you want and how you’re going to get it. From your mission, to your yearly goals, to the long term projects you need to focus on to get to where you want to be.
Reality test your gameplan. If you want to be a tech billionaire, that’s going to be a tough road, you really have to be exceptional. But every guy out there is capable of building a six figure service business with the right knowledge and work ethic. You need to be realistic about your strengths and weakness.
Model success. Find a guy who already has what you want and model what he’s done. You’ll save a lot of time by following someone else’s path instead of trying to clear your own.
This applies not just to business, but to girls, social skills, fitness or anything else you want.
3) Become Valuable
Once you’ve set your standards, and defined the good things you want out of life, you need to find a way to become valuable. From your sexual market value, to your social market value, to your ability to sell premium products and service your customers, it’s all about value, value, value.
You don’t get the good things in life just because you want them, or because you think you “deserve” them. Everyone “deserves” to be happy, healthy and fulfilled, but that’s not how life works. Life isn’t fair and the word “deserve” doesn’t even belong in your vocabulary. If you want the good things in life you need to earn them, and that means becoming valuable.
You need to learn how to earn.
I learned to earn at a young age. I grew up a poor, fatherless, bastard on the outskirts of a wealthy neighborhood. But I learned that if I made everyone laugh in class I’d be popular. I learned that if I dressed cool the other kids wanted to hang out with me. And that if I made it a priority to be the best at sports everyone wanted to be my friend.
I’ve carried that attitude with me throughout my life. I’ve always wanted to get the good things in life, but I’ve also always been willing to put in the work to make myself valuable.
Value, at it’s core, means the ability to transfer positive feelings to other people:
In friendship, it means becoming a cool, nice, loyal, supportive guy who is always bringing value to the table.
With women, it means maxing out your SMV, having game and bringing a positive, cheerful attitude to the date.
When you’re able to transfer positive feelings to other people, you get those good feelings back in return.
4) Create Reproducible, Situational Value
While becoming valuable is important, just as important is creating situational value. That means, designing a lifestyle that where you’re consistently getting good things, on a daily basis, based on your previous investment.
To get the good things in life you need to get organized. And part of being organized is setting a schedule and sticking to it, which means a lot of your day-to-day life is going to be repetitive. In other words, you’re going to find yourself in the same situations every day.
From your condo, to the gym, to the coffee shop, to where you get your groceries and dinner. It only makes sense to make those situations work for you.
That means, choosing venues that treat you with respect, and then charming the people who work there. That way, every time you step out the door, you’re not starting from scratch and relying on your general value to get good treatment. Instead you get to coast on your previous investment in those places and people.
But situational value doesn’t just apply to your daily life, it applies to everything you do.
For example, no matter how high value you are, cold approach pickup at nightclubs is the hardest way to get women, it’s an uphill battle all the way. However, if you like nightclubs and you like club girls, the smart thing to do is build situational value at your favorite venues. The easiest way to do that is to become a part time promoter on weekends and build a social circle around you. That way every time you step in the club you’ve got home field advantage, hot girls by your side, and a ton of social proof.
If you just like going out to the bar twice a week with your boys, then find a nice bar with good customer service and make that your turf.
Even in business, when you structure your business properly, you can coast on work you did 3 years ago for your clients and still get cash and appreciation.
Being valuable is important, but creating situational value is just important. Because the bulk of your week is going to be repetitive, so it only makes sense to structure your life so that the things you do meet your needs.
5) Pricetag Everything You Do
So once you have your gameplan together, and you’ve understood the nature of creating value, you need to know how to implement that in the real world be it in business, or with women, or in social situations.
Once you’ve become valuable and have something to offer, you need to learn how to set your price. And again, price doesn’t come down to how much you think you deserve, it comes down to what other people will pay.
That’s why at first you aim for something you can get. That first girl doesn’t have to be a supermodel, just like that first client doesn’t have to pay you a million dollars. You just have to get your foot in the door.
Then as you start to get more valuable you can charge more. In my business, I did spent 3 years on RLD mastering my craft and getting traffic before I even released my first product. When I launched book, I priced it at $10 to make sure it would sell, which it did.
As time went on, and traffic went up, and I became more valuable, I raised that price to $40 with barely a drop in sales and a major increase in profits. And as my business continues to grow, I’ll continue to launch courses at the top price tier because because I want to sell premium products and the marketplace accepts my price point.
Some guys might not want to pay for my products and might just want to watch my free content. Or some guys might think I’m garbage and not want anything to do with me. And both of those things are perfectly fine, because there are enough people to pay my price.
Your goal should be to create enough value that you can charge the highest price for yourself.
The same logic applies to women to women and guy friends. The more sexual market value you have, the more, better-quality women you can attract. The more social value you have men, the more high value, good-hearted guys you can have in your life.
A wise man by the name of Lil Wayne once said:
“Walk like a hustler, talk like a hustler, stripper attitude only money makes me move.”
And just like Lil Wayne, I don’t do anything for free, everything I do comes with a price. Sure, I’ll extend that initial offer, be it buying a coffee for a pretty girl, or a beer for a potential friend, or a trial month with a new service provider for my business. But if I’m not getting back value in return, I’m out.
When you set a high standard, you have to back it up and follow through on it.
What does a sexual relationship with you cost? If you’re like most guys it’s nothing. It should be respect. It doesn’t matter how hot she is, the price for even casual sex is mutual respect. Some guys pay for a woman’s entire life and get nothing back but drama.
What does your friendship cost? The price should be mutual respect, loyalty and shared interests. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends with a guy, if he runs you down at every opportunity, or doesn’t support you in your life goals, he’s got to go.
What does a business relationship cost? The answer is cold, hard, cash. If you’re the best at what you do, you should charge a price in accordance with your skills. If a clients not paying you, or is consistently late on payment, or wants sh*t for free, or is always causing you headaches, he’s out.
When you’ve made yourself valuable, it’s only natural to pricetag yourself accordingly
When you have an abundance of women, you no longer have to put up with bullsh*t.
When you have a good group of friends, you no longer have to deal with disrespectful dudes.
Because to get respect, you have to demand it. It’s a nasty part of life, but the truth is, if you don’t put a high price on yourself, then people will pay as little as they can. Radiohead found that out the hard way when they released an album on a pay as you want model. The end result was nobody wanted to pay them for work and they never did that dumb sh*t again.
There is a price for my friendships, for my romantic relationship, for my business relationship, and even just being an acquaintance comes with a cost.
Because the ugly truth is, people behave the way you allow them to behave. When you set low standards for yourself, you’re guaranteed to get bad behavior.
And you have to be able to end relationships when your price isn’t being paid. It doesn’t matter how hot she is, or how much you love her, or how good the sex is, if she’s cheating on you she’s got to go.
The only exception to pricetagging is charity. I think giving to others in need is a great thing, especially when you’re not looking for a reward. But with that said, it can be argued that helping people is it’s own reward, so in a way your price is still getting paid.
6) Pay The Cost To Be The Boss
Another wise man, James Brown once said: “You’ve got to pay the cost to be the boss.” And he was right.
If you want to be treated like a boss, you have to act like one, and that means relying on yourself to solve your problems. Not whining, complaining and crying on your girlfriend’s shoulder when you don’t get what you want.
7) Always Recognize Reality
Getting the good things in life doesn’t come for free, not only do you have to pay the cost to be the boss, but you have to be able to look cold, hard reality in the face without blinking.
Just because you demand high standards doesn’t mean everyone is going to comply, and you need to be constantly calibrating yourself to your surroundings.
Just because you want it doesn’t make it a reality. You might be able to make it a reality in the future, but you have to recognize where you are right now and act accordingly.
If you’re a new reader I might offer you a little value.
If you’ve been reading me for a long time I might offer you a lot of value.
But if you’re an airport security guard, I have no value to you.
Despite all the things I think I might have going for me, to the airport security guard, I’m just another person passing through his lineup. And he wants to make me take off my shoes and go through my luggage I’m going to let him, because he has all the guns behind him, that’s the reality.
What I’m not going to do is argue with him, because I don’t argue with reality. Arguing with reality in the airport will put you in the fastlane to the interrogation room.
Having high self esteem is important, setting big goals for what you want to get in the future, but failure to recognize your reality right now, is deadly. Failure to recognize reality results in delusion.
Delusion hurts you in three ways:
It sabotages your plans for creating a better reality. It’s not possible to plan for future success when you can’t understand the present.
You can’t learn from your mistakes. Having high self esteem is important, but so is being able to recognize when you f*cked up, or why something isn’t working, and how to solve that problem
It’s dangerous. Pride comes before a fall. Delusion is what puts you on the wrong end of a worldstarhiphop highlight reel.
To get what you want in life, you always need to recognize reality in the present and calibrate accordingly.
Everyone wants the good things, but most people don’t want to put in the work. The truth is today, is the best time to be alive in human history, all the good things in life are available to you, you just have to go out and get what you want.