How To Develop Your Dating Gameplan Part 4: Your Relationship Gameplan/Casual Sex Vs. Polyamory Vs. Monogamy Vs. Pros Vs. Celibacy

In part 1 of this series we covered player vs provider game, which gives you the foundation for your dating gameplan and how you’re going to approach women. In part 2 we covered how to adapt your gameplan to the situation at hand. In part 3 we covered how to execute your gameplan to intimacy.

And now, in part 4, we’re going to cover the five relationship models and how to:

  1. Transition to each model after sex
  2. An overview of each type of relationship
  3. Relationship rules
  4. Pros vs cons
  5. What to expect
  6. What I recommend

The five types of relationships are:

  1. Casual relationships (f*ckbuddy)
  2. Polyamorous relationships (one step above f*ckbuddy and one step below girlfriend)
  3. Monogamous relationships
  4. Prostitution
  5. Celibacy

As you can see I’ve included celibacy and pros in your potential gameplan. We haven’t covered them in this series yet because they don’t involve game. However, I think both are valid options depending on where you are in life and what you’re looking for.

You might be surprised to see pros as an option. And I’ll admit, I hesitated to recommend it, but at the end of the day, as long you’re not hurting anybody, and not breaking the law, you should be free to do whatever you want.

In the past I was completely against going to pros, but I realize that was just social programming and my ego talking. I know happy, well-adjusted guys that get women and go to pros without any problems.

My goal in this piece is to give you all the available models and let you choose what’s right for you. Relationships are the one area I can’t give straightforward advice because there are just too many variables and limiting factors. Also you’ll most likely spend your life moving in and out of the different relationships.

Instead I want to give you all the options so you can choose what’s right for you now, and be able to adapt your dating gameplan to other relationship models in the future.

Lastly, some of the material in the article is taken from my three-part girlfriend series (screening, moving in together and how to get over a breakup) as well as my three-part series on relationship management (screening, rules and tactics). I recommend you check out both of those series’ to get the clearest picture possible on relationship management.

So, here’s the breakdown on the five relationship models:

1) Casual Relationships

Overview

  • A casual relationship or is a woman you see once a week without much much emotional attachment from either side
  • The best way to transition into a casual relationship is through fast or medium term player game
  • All you have to do is approach selling sex, not promise her anything more than sex, see her once a week and avoid any boyfriend behaviors like taking her for dinner or taking her to the movies
  • If you start to develop feelings for her you have the option to upgrade her to a polyamorous relationship as long as you follow the screening template outlined here
  • If you lose interest it’s best to tell her you’re busy, once she asks you to meet up 2 or 3 times and you politely tell her you’re busy, she will get the hint (there is no need for an official breakup in these scenarios, if anything it only creates drama)

Rules

  • Expectations:She expects nothing more than sex from you
  • Dating:After the pre-sex dates you won’t be taking her out, this is a sex only relationship
  • Time:You see her a few times a month
  • Seeing Her Friends:Avoid going out with her friends because this sends mixed messages and tends to cause drama, save this for monogamous relationships
  • Communication: Text only, talking on the phone is for relationships, this sends mixed messages
  • Sex: You should have sex every time you see her after which she or you leaves within a polite timeframe
  • Discretion:Avoid talking about other women you’re dating unless she asks, don’t lie about them but don’t rub it in her face
  • Drama Management: Politely tell her you don’t like that behavior at the first sign of drama, if she keeps it up you should leave or kick her out
  • Nexting: Next her for excessive drama, if you’re not into the sex anymore or if she wants an upgrade but you don’t
  • Upgrading: Upgrade her if you start developing feelings and she fits the non-monogamous relationship screening criteria, you can upgrade her at anytime

Pros

  • You get to have sex with multiple women with no strings or money attached
  • You get almost no drama
  • You get to feel good about yourself from your ability to get multiple girls
  • Your risk of emotional pain is very low since you don’t have strong feelings for her
  • Ending the relationship is relatively easy and painless

Cons

  • You don’t get the emotional highs of being with someone you care about
  • Scheduling time for and servicing your harem can be tiring
  • Having only casual sex for long periods of time can make you feel empty
  • Having lots of casual sex makes you desensitized to women (good for your game but bad for your emotional satisfaction)
  • Some guys start to feel dirty after f*cking a lot of women they don’t care about
  • You lose interest in women quickly when you don’t have feelings for them
  • After the thrill of the first few times, sex usually starts to become dull without an emotional connection
  • Girls put little value in f*ckbuddy relationships, which means it’s easy for them to leave and you always have to keep your pipeline full to replace them
  • You have to use condoms which makes sex 50% worse (and no you cannot trust a casual partner even if she tells you she uses condoms with everyone else)

Expectations

  • Expect to have a lot of fun with casual sex when you’re new to the game
  • Expect to have a lot of fun with casual sex when you’re fresh out of a relationship
  • Expect to have a lot of with casual sex when you’re in vacation-party mode
  • Expect the first few times you have casual sex with a girl to be the most exciting
  • Expect to lose interest in most of your casual women within a month or less
  • Expect to start feeling empty if you’re only having casual sex for a long period of time
  • Expect to become desensitized to women the more you have casual sex
  • Expect to lose interest in casual sex as you get older
  • Expect every girl to leave eventually – usually when she finds a provider, sometimes when she starts feeling used
  • Expect to end it with her before she ends it with you, this will be true 80% of the time, especially if you have a lot of women, the thrill wears off quickly

Recommendations

  • Casual sex for a year or two is great for young guys new to the game
  • Casual sex for a month or two is great for guys getting out of a relationship
  • Casual for a week or two is great for guys on vacation (spring break/Thailand)
  • Casual sex is a good option as long as you have another girl for your emotional needs
  • Casual sex for busy guys is ok for moderate periods of time (less time required than a gf)
  • Casual sex is not a good option long term if that’s your only way to relate to women (you will feel empty, exhausted and depressed)

2) Polyamorous Relationships

Overview

  • A polyamorous relationship is a woman you have sex with once a week (twice occasionally) and who you have a connection with and do things like cuddle, watch movies and occasionally go to dinner – but it is not an official relationship (like a monogamous girlfriend, or an open relationship)
  • To get into a polyamorous relationship, the best approach is the same approach as a casual relationship, you approach as a player on a fast to medium term gameplan
  • If you approach as a provider, it’s unlikely she’ll accept polyamory with you
  • The best way to transition into a polyamorous relationship is through fast or medium term player game after upgrading her from a casual partner
  • Upgrading her means you do more boyfriend behaviors like supporting her emotionally, cuddling and doing things other than just having sex
  • The reason you keep seeing her to once a week is 1) to maintain your attraction to her and her attraction to you and 2) to avoid giving too much boyfriend behavior
  • If you give her boyfriend behavior and see her 3 times a week, she’s going to start acting like and thinking she’s your girlfriend
  • If you want to upgrade her to girlfriend status, I recommend you do that between the 3 to 6 month mark, this is because you need to do a lot of homework on her and a lot of compatibility testing before you give her your heart
  • To see exactly how to screen her for monogamy, check out my girlfriend screening guide reference above

Rules

  • Expectations:She expects sex, cuddling, eating together, watching movies and an emotional connection
  • Dating:You can take her on dates occasionally
  • Time: You should see her no more than once a week, any more can make you seem needy, plus it gives her time to miss you and look forward to seeing you again
  • Seeing Her Friends:Avoid going out with her friends, this sends mixed messages and tends to cause drama, save this for monogamous relationships
  • Communcation:Text slightly more than casual sex, but still don’t talk on the phone
  • Sex: You have sex every time you see her after which you talk, cuddle or watch movies-she can sleep over and vice versa
  • Discretion:Avoid talking about other women you’re seeing unless she asks
  • Drama Management:Politely tell her you don’t like that behavior at the first sign of drama, if she keeps it up you should leave or kick her out.
  • Nexting: Next her for excessive drama, when you’re not into the sex anymore or if she wants an upgrade but you don’t
  • Upgrading: Upgrade her only if she fits the monogamous relationship screening criteria and you’re falling in love with her, this should be after 3 to 6 months in a non-monogamous relationship. You also want to make sure she’s the one who is pushing for it, you never want to go into a relationship in the needier position

Pros

  • You get to have sex with multiple women with mostly no strings attached
  • You get to feel like a stud for having a harem of women
  • You get less drama than in a monogamous relationship
  • Your emotional risk is less than in a monogamous relationship because you’re less invested and have more than one woman to meet your emotional needs
  • You get more emotional satisfaction than with a casual partner while still not being tied down to any one girl
  • You get most of the benefits of a girlfriend without all the expectations, bullsh*t and potential drama

Cons

  • Having multiple women can be time consuming
  • More drama than a casual relationship (even if you’re very good at drama management)
  • Jealousy becomes much more of an issue for her than when you’re just having casual sex (and can become an issue for you)
  • Some women have a hard time accepting polyamory
  • Most women will start pushing hard for commitment around the 4 to 6 month mark often using jealousy plotlines or ultimatums to get you to commit
  • If you don’t commit you will eventually lose her to a provider (although they’ll usually come back when they break up with him, or sometimes even when they’re still seeing him)
  • You have to deal with a woman you like hooking up other guys (even when they tell you they’re only seeing you, they are almost always still seeing other guys, or at the very least flirting/talking with other guys they want to be with)
  • Your frame control has to be razor-sharp to maintain a polyamorous relationship, especially multiple ones (no jealousy or neediness allowed)
  • You should probably still use condoms (unless the woman has proven to be exceptionally reliable and trustworthy, although this is still a big gamble)
  • Your emotional risk for a breakup is higher than with casual sex

Expectations

  • Expect most women to accept polyamory for a short period of time if you approach like a player and have mid to high SMV
  • Expect almost all women to never accept polyamory for a long period of time (no matter what comes out of her mouth, she is trying to get you to be her boyfriend)
  • Expect most women to lie or downplay the amount of other guys they’re seeing or talking to in an effort to get you in a relationship (this is true no matter how good your game is or how good you are in bed)
  • Expect her to lie about her lay count in an effort to get you in a relationship – double or triple whatever number she gives you to get the real one
  • Expect some rare women to tell you the truth or at least 90% of the truth (it happens but it’s not likely, you don’t know anything until you get her to show you her phone)
  • Expect her to get jealous occasionally
  • Expect her to have to kick her out once or twice after she gives you jealousy drama
  • Expect her to try to make you jealous occasionally (to see how much you care/get you to compete/get you to try to take her off the market)
  • Expect her to do everything in her power to get you to commit – cooking for you, bringing you things, cleaning for you, selling purity hard
  • Expect her to leave if you don’t commit past the 6 month mark – the longest I’ve held a girl in polyamory was two years, but eventually all of them will leave when they find a guy willing to commit to them
  • Expect her to come back after it ends with her provider, almost all my polyamorous girls have come back, often multiple times
  • Expect many of the girls to try to keep seeing you while she has a boyfriend – don’t do it though, you won’t feel good about yourself
  • Expect many girls to stop responding to your messages when they leave (50% of the time she won’t tell you the reason, the reason 90% of the time is she gets another guy, the other 10% of the time it’s because she’s upset you won’t commit)

Recommendations

  • Polyamorous relationships are awesome, you get the benefits of a girlfriend without all the expectations, I recommend polyamory for every guy who can make it happen
  • I don’t recommend polyamory for guys with a jealous streak, it can be an adjustment to know the girl you like is seeing other guys
  • I also don’t recommend polyamory for guys who are only interested in monogamy, there’s no sense doing what you don’t want to do
  • Read this before you get into a polyamorous relationship

3) Monogamy

Overview

  • A monogamous relationship is a girlfriend or a verbal wife (NEVER GET LEGALLY MARRIED)
  • You can approach monogamy from a fast, medium or slow gameplan as a player (upgrading her from casual/polyamorous to girlfriend)
  • Or you can approach monogamy from a medium or slow gameplan as a provider
  • Even as a player, in my experience, once a girl likes you, she’ll always push monogamy, and you being a player makes it even that much more of a conquest for her
  • For how to transition from a polyamorous relationship, see the above section
  • If you approach as a provider, expect her to assume you’re only seeing her, and that any other girls you might have, you’re just dating/talking to

Rules

  • Expectations:She expects sex, cuddling, eating together, watching movies and an emotional connection
  • Dating: You should be taking her on dates once a week or once every two weeks
  • Time:You should see her at least 2 to 3 times a week although she might want more
  • Seeing Her Friends: She will expect you to see her friends about once every two weeks but ultimately it’s up to you
  • Communication:Text daily and call occasionally
  • Sex:You should have sex every time you see her or at least every other time
  • Discretion:You shouldn’t flirt with other girls in front of her, and she shouldn’t flirt with other guys in front of you
  • Drama Management:Politely tell her you don’t like that behavior at the first sign of drama, if she keeps it up, have a conversation about it.
  • Nexting:Next her for excessive continuous drama, withholding sex, pressuring you for an upgrade you don’t want like marriage/children or when you just don’t have feelings for her any more
  • Upgrading: You should be very cautious in upgrading to living together, children or marriage as these can be emotionally and financially dangerous situations

Pros

  • Of all the relationships monogamy has the most pros
  • Condom free sex without worrying about STDs (assuming she’s faithful)
  • Having the girl you care about be yours and yours alone
  • Monogamy allows you to feel the deepest and strongest love (you’ll always be holding back in polyamory)
  • Sex with someone you love is the best sex you’ll ever have, especially if you use my tantric/karezza techniques
  • The first 3 to 6 months of falling in love will probably be one of if not the happiest times of your life
  • You can see her more often than with polyamory or casual sex
  • You get to know each other very well
  • You get to have a partner to take on the world with
  • You get consistent access to emotional support and affection
  • You get to have an escort to parties and nights out with your friends
  • You get to walk around with a beautiful girl on your arm
  • If you live together, you get someone to come home to after a hard day of work
  • If she’s a quality girl, she will cook for you and bring you nice gifts

Cons

  • Of all the relationships, monogamy also has the most cons
  • You don’t get to have other women, this can be very difficult if you have a high sex drive
  • You run the risk of getting cheated on (this can be greatly reduced by proper screening but there are no guarantees)
  • You run the risk of cheating on her, especially if you’re used to your player lifestyle (and feeling guilty afterwards)
  • You often times will feel boxed in
  • Monogamy comes with the most expectations
  • Monogamy comes with the most drama (especially if you live together)
  • Monogamy comes with the greatest emotional and financial risk (especially if you legally married, which you shouldn’t be – too risky)
  • Monogamy is the most expensive relationship, even if she pays for half, you’ll still end up going to way more dinners and movies (women are just not content to stay in every night)
  • Monogamy takes up the most time, having a girlfriend is like having a part-time job in terms of the hours you have to put in
  • Monogamy comes with massive expectations – escorting her to parties, seeing her family, seeing her friends, emotional support, constant communication etc.
  • After the rush of falling in love wears off, monogamous sex often becomes boring
  • Because you love her, and because you no longer have other women, it becomes much harder to keep your game 100% tight (jealousy, neediness and other ugly emotions tend to creep up)

Expectations

  • Expect more drama – familiarity breeds contempt
  • Expect the highs to be higher and the lows to be lower
  • Expect to love someone more than you ever thought possible
  • Expect your game and your frame to be seriously tested (the more you like a girl, the harder it is to run good game)
  • Expect every serious relationship to alter your life in a big way, sometimes good, sometimes bad
  • Expect to see a different side of her as time goes on, no matter how well you screened her
  • Expect that the relationship will end, it might be till death do you part, but most likely it won’t make it that far
  • Expect her to push hard for monogamy and then expect her to get bored of monogamy (it takes incredibly dedication to stay monogamous long-term for both people)
  • Expect her to push for cohabitation, and then marriage and then children no matter what comes out of her mouth (living together in her mind is the first step to marriage, no matter what she tells you)
  • Expect 50% of women to have cheated once you reach the five year mark
  • Expect a 50% chance of divorce if you get married, and a 70% chance of her initiating that divorce
  • Expect to get half your sh*t taken away including your house and expect to pay alimony and child support if you choose to get legally married and end up divorced
  • Expect a very painful breakup if you’re on the receiving end and a much less painful breakup if you’re dumping her
  • Expect her to move on to another guy and get over the breakup much faster than you expected
  • Expect that your best and worst experiences with women will come from a monogamous relationship

Recommendations

  • You should give monogamy a serious shot at least once in your life just for the experience
  • I recommend monogamy for guys who want to feel the strongest human emotion – love
  • I recommend players with high sex drives to be careful about getting into monogamous relationships because you might not be able to handle it
  • I strongly caution any guy who is going to live with a woman to be very careful and do your homework
  • I definitely do not recommend legal marriage for anyone under any circumstances, you can have the ceremony but for f*ck sake, don’t sign those documents, and get an ironclad

4) Semi-Pros

Overview

  • Pros means paying for it, although not directly, I’m not advocating breaking the law
  • I’m talking about indirectly either through TInder or Seeking
  • Hardened pros are a joyless experience and show be avoided
  • Same goes for strip clubs, waste of money and time, avoid completely (unless it’s a guys night out celebration)
  • Semipros are women, usually younger who have jobs or are in school and are looking to make some extra money by getting help from generous men
  • They tend to be much more selective then hardened pros, who are pure mercenaries and will take anybody
  • In Southeast Asia you’ll find these women on Tinder, tons of women who otherwise work in a beauty salon or day job are on tinder for some side money to hook up with guys they are attracted/somewhat attracted to (and I can’t really blame them)
  • Also applies to many massage parlors in SEA
  • In the west it’s more common to find women looking for arrangements on Seeking, although you will find some on Tinder
  • however I’m strictly talking about paying for sex on a one time basis, not the sugar daddy route which I can’t recommend
  • Paying for sex is one thing but paying a girls rent for her to pretend to like you is a completely different thing
  • I think pros are a legitimate option and guys who take that route shouldn’t be judged

Rules

  • Always wear a condom
  • Never ever fall in love with a semipro or try to turn a semipro into a girlfriend no matter how sweet she is
  • Agree on what to give her for her allowance or school fees that works for both of you and stick to it
  • Only give her the allowance per time when she comes to see you
  • Don’t give her her “allowance” or “help her with her school fees” unless she comes to meet you in person – paying her rent or monthly isn’t smart

Pros

  • Semipros is the easiest way to get attractive women
  • Compliance and getting sex when you want it is easier when you’re “generous”
  • For guys with low SMV, semipros might be the only chance you have with attractive women
  • Semipros are actually better in bed then the average girl (they want to put on a show to make sure you come back)
  • Going to semipros can actually be cheaper than chasing down girls and will usually be cheaper than a girlfriend (especially in places like Southeast Asia)
  • Semipros are the least time-consuming way to get sexual needs met (assuming your morality allows)
  • Less jealousy, drama or neediness
  • Less emotional risk
  • Semipros are more accountable and more likely to come over last minute (because you’re helping them)

Cons

  • Being generous costs money
  • Social stigma of helping women financially
  • Might conflict with your morals or religious beliefs
  • In general will be less emotional connection (more chance she’s gaming you) than a woman you pick up on your own

Expectations

  • Expect to get good sex with hot women easily
  • Expect to have completely drama free sex
  • Expect some women to be really into it and some girls to be bored (you just don’t go back to the ones who aren’t putting in effort)
  • Expect to have sex easily
  • Expect to maybe feel guilty the first few times and then stop caring

Recommendations

  • An option for guys who want to lose their virginity
  • An option for guys who are inexperienced and want to get better in bed
  • An option for guys who want to get comfortable around hot women
  • An option for low SMV guys while they work on getting their SMV high enough to f*ck girls without paying for it
  • An option for business owners with lots disposable income and little free time
  • An option for travelling businessmen to reward themselves after a long conference
  • An option when you’re in vacation party mode
  • An option for guys who are already getting women but have a super high sex drive
  • An option for guys coming out of a relationship who want to keep their emotional distance from women
  • Similar to casual sex, I think the best approach to semipros is moderation, too much empty sex without a woman you care about probably won’t make you feel very good
  • The major danger with pros is for inexperienced/low SMV guys, if that applies to you then make sure you don’t start developing feelings for the girls or relying on pros as your only source of women
  • Let your happiness be your guide, if you start feeling unhappy going to pros, then move on to another gameplan

5) Celibacy

Overview

  • Celibacy means not having sex with women

Rules

  • No sex
  • No PMO (P*rn/Mast@#bation/Org@sm) is your best option while celibate, and in my experience will give you a massive energy and wellness boost
  • Tantric non ej@cul@tory m@sturb@tion is your next best bet
  • Conventional mast@#bation infrequently is your next best option
  • Ejaculating a lot is your worst option and will ruin most of the benefits of celibacy

Pros

  • Acts as a reboot on your relationship with women, especially if you’re coming out of something bad or are becoming desensitized to girls
  • Is awesome for giving you extra time and energy to devote to your mission, especially if you go no PMO – your energy, drive and focus will be through the roof
  • Is awesome for your spiritual mission, it’s no coincidence that almost all religions advocate periods of celibacy mixed with devotion
  • If you have the willpower, celibacy is awesome for giving you better c@ck control and teaching how to transmute your sexual frustration/energy into productive things like the gym and business – the more control you have over your c@ck, the less control women have over you
  • You’ll have a more even emotional baseline than when you’re in relationships with women

Cons

  • You’re not having sex
  • Your sexual frustration will go up
  • You don’t experience the emotional highs you get from women
  • A lot of guys won’t understand or will look down on what you’re trying to do

Expectations

  • Expect the first week, especially the first few days to be the hardest
  • Expect it to get easier as time goes on
  • Expect yourself to be surprised when you stop thinking about sex
  • Also expect brief periods where you’re insanely horny and frustrated and can’t think about anything but sex

Recommendations

  • Celibacy is awesome for guys who want to get better control over there c@ck
  • Celibacy is great if you need a break from women
  • Celibacy is excellent for grinding hard on your mission or a big project
  • Celibacy is terrific for periods where you want to focus on your spiritual mission (getting closer to God)
  • Celibacy is also an option if you want to devote yourself fulltime to your spiritual mission by joining a monastery, the happiest guy in the world is a celibate Buddhist monk in his 60’s
  • For the average guy however, I don’t recommend celibacy as a permanent lifestyle, only as a temporary reboot period
  • Celibacy is good to do once a year to reboot and clear your head (I’ll usually cut off all girls at least once a year when I’m working on a big project and don’t want to be bothered)

Conclusions

There you have it, all your potential relationships with women categorized with exactly what to expect. All you have to do is select the right model for where you are in your life. And if that model stops being effective, all you have to do is switch to another one.

In part 5, the final installment of this series, I’ll show you exactly how to do that by outlining every available model for every stage of your life as well as my current relationship model.