Girlfriend Series Part 1: How To Find The Right Woman
In Relationship Management Part 1, we covered the criteria for a monogamous girlfriend, but in this article I wanted to expand on the characteristics of that girl. It’s said that a good girl is hard to find and that’s true. Part 2 of this series will guide you through moving in with her and part 3 will show you how to deal with a break up.
Men and women should be treated with equal respect but we are very different. Men are more dominant in every way, physically, emotionally and mentally. And this is the exact type of man that women are attracted to. In the right relationship the man is dominant and the woman is agreeable. That way instead of fighting your natural instincts you accept them and both people are happy.
Unfortunately this type of thinking is seen as outdated. Instead we get relationships with two people trying to be dominant and competing with each other for power inside and outside the home. The result is fighting, drama and a 50% divorce rate.
99% of a guy’s problems with women is that they get exclusive with the wrong woman. Knowing how to find the right girl is crucial. The right girl will give you balance, love and happiness. The wrong one will give you drama, nagging and unhappiness.
When it comes to an open relationship or having multiple casual partners you have a lot more options in the type of woman you can date. That’s because the expectations are low and there is virtually no joint decision-making.
In monogamous relationships however you need to be much more careful with the type of woman you screen for. Monogamy means repression and joint decision-making. That means you need someone who is going to repress their sexual urges for other guys and you need someone who will yield most of the decision-making power to you. Otherwise you can expect cheating, drama and all kinds of other unfun bullsh*t. Here’s what you need to know about finding the right girl:
Characteristics Of The Right Girlfriend
1) She’s Pretty But Not Too Pretty
Being pretty is one of the most important characteristics a potential girlfriend can have because you’ll always be happy to look at her. Beauty is like low-grade positive hypnosis and is essential for any kind of deep feelings. I’ve realized, as shallow as this sounds, that I can’t have strong feelings for any girl who is less than an 8.
But too pretty is dangerous. Anyone that’s too pretty, man or woman, is spoiled by their looks and is almost always a raging narcissist. Also you won’t be able to turn your back without some other guy trying to snatch her off your arm. A girl who is too pretty will have too many options which jeopardizes the power dynamics behind the relationship.
2) She’s Happy
Happy girls are a pleasure to be around. Of course no one’s happy all the time but you don’t want a negative girl weighing down your positive, winning attitude.
3) She’s Polite
Rudeness is a terrible quality in any person. And as a man you definitely can’t tolerate disrespect from your girlfriend. It’s important that she’s polite not just to you but to others. If you catch her snapping at the waitress there is only a matter of time before that behavior comes out on you.
4) She’s Agreeable
She’s willing to let you lead the relationship. There is no such thing as equality. In every relationship there is a leader and a follower. When you have two people trying to lead all you get is fighting. That’s why as a dominant man you need an agreeable woman. And not just one who is playing agreeable to catch you but a woman who is happy to submit and has been looking for a strong man all her life.
There’s only room for one star in the relationship, you, and that’s how she likes it. Shy, agreeable women don’t even want the spotlight. A narcissistic girl will compete with you to be the center of attention, a shy girl will happily let you take it. She wants to see you shine.
When you have an agreeable woman you don’t have to worry about someone backseat driving your life or nagging you about where you’re going. She’s won’t whine about the time you spend working on your mission or getting in your way, but rather will support you in your goals.
5) She Has A Healthy Self Esteem
Not too high, not too low. Low self-esteem women won’t be able to have a healthy relationship with you and neither will arrogant narcissists. You want your lady to be right in the middle with healthy self-esteem.
6) She’s Chaste
This means she hasn’t separated sex from emotion and is able to pair-bond more strongly than a promiscuous girl. It’s a fact that the more partners a woman has the more likely she is to get divorced.
Now this doesn’t mean that her thoughts are pure, she’s just more repressed than other girls. This is what you want. Monogamous relationships are based on repression. It doesn’t mean she won’t cheat, it just lowers the probability of her cheating. Why not stack the odds in your favor if you can?
7) You Trust Her
This takes time, careful observation and an extensive background check but is extremely valuable and important. There is no point getting exclusive if you don’t trust her. This is something you can’t always tell right away but pay attention to the clues. Does she have long-term friendships? If she doesn’t then that’s not a good sign. Does she talk about people behind their backs? If she’s not loyal to others then she won’t be loyal to you. The most important thing is you’ll need to see her phone, with her permission of course, to verify everything she’s been telling you is true, and I’m talking about checking all the apps, in this day and age, you don’t know anything until you’ve seen her phone.
9) Love Is Her First Priority
Love and family makes her happy. A girl who cares more about her career is just a female version of you which means she’ll always be in competition with you. You need a girl who complements you instead. A girl who brings out your nice qualities and makes your life lighter.
11) She Likes Making Other People Happy
It literally makes her happy to make you happy. Not only do women like this add to your life but it makes you want to make them happy, everyone wins.
You don’t want a spoiled princess making demands of your time and resources, this will wear down your energy and take you away from your mission.
12) She Doesn’t Like Confrontation Or Arguing
This should be obvious but I see so many guys f*ck this up, why they date argumentative women is beyond me. Make things easy on yourself and only date girls who are easy to get along with. That way your relationship will be easy.
13) She’s Medium Sex Drive
A low sex drive girl is no fun, and a high sex drive girl seems great at first but eventually becomes exhausting. I prefer to be the one initiating sex when I want it. Get a medium sex drive girl.
14) She Makes You Feel Like A Man
You feel stronger around her because she builds you up not brings you down. Don’t date girls that drain your energy or make you feel weaker, date girls who give you energy and make you feel stronger. It’s so easy, all you have to do is choose the right girl but most guys f*ck this up.
15) She Makes You Happy
This is what it’s all about. Being with a great girl who makes you happy is the best feeling in the world.
16) She’s Not Materialistic
She never brings up or asks you for money. Now a traditional woman will usually expect you to pay without complaint so you should be prepared to be the traditional man. The difference is that a good girl won’t ask you to buy her things or try to hustle you for money. Any time a girl asks you for money or to buy her something should be seen as a massive red flag.
17) She Takes Care Of Herself
Her makeup, grooming and style is on point every every day. Since you take good care of yourself you want the same in a girlfriend.
18) She’s Feminine
Dating a feminine woman will bring out the protective nurturing side of you. You’ll know you really care about her when you start thinking about her well-being when you’re not around.
19) She Admires And Respects You
You want a girl who sees you in the way you want to be seen. Who looks up to you with admiration and respect. Who values your opinion and looks to you for wisdom and guidance. This is a great feeling.
Don’t waste your time with girls who constantly question your judgement or try to cut you down with snarky, sarcastic comments.
20) She’s Middle Class
A lower class girl will be too rough and difficult to relate to and an upper class girl will be hard to keep up with financially and will have no idea what you had to do to lift yourself up into the 1%. Upper class women also won’t understand or fully respect your struggle towards financial freedom because they have no idea how hard it is. Middle class girls are the most grounded and as an ambitious guy you can bring her to a higher standard of living that she’ll appreciate you for.