1) Choosing The Wrong Woman
By far the biggest mistake men make with women… is choosing to get serious with the wrong woman.
From nagging to demanding to bossy to downright toxic – so many men continue to put up with terrible behavior because they don’t know any better. They don’t know that there are sweet, kind women out there because they don’t screen properly.
For many guys, their screening criteria is no better than that “she’s hot” or “I’m getting action” and they put up with all kinds of bulls$!% just to hang on to their unhappy relationship.
The real killer though, is not just dating women who aren’t great people, it’s getting involved with women who are outright toxic. By getting seriously involved with a toxic person, there is no limit to how bad your life can get.
2) Accepting consistent drama as a natural part of relationships
Consistent drama is not a natural part of relationships. You might think it is, because you grew up with an abusive mother, and all your subsequent relationships with women we’re dramatic – but it’s just not the case. Not when you screen for high quality women, restrain your worst emotions, and focus on building happy, healthy relationships.
Sure some fighting will happen occasionally, but it does not have to happen consistently, and if it does, you’re in a bad relationship. You’d be shocked at how little drama you can have in your life by following the principles outlined in the links above.
3) Starting a family before you can afford It
This applies whether you start a family on purpose or “on accident”. Starting a family before you can afford it means you lower your shot of getting ahead in life dramatically. Not to mention your wife and kids will suffer as compared to you deciding to have a family after you’ve already established yourself. And this is especially true in today’s day and age where the middle class is rapidly dying and you need to get into the 1% to start living well.
It’s a nasty fact, it’s materialistic, but it’s also the truth.
Here are some guidelines for if you can afford to start a family:
- You’re in your 30’s
- You’ve already built your business
- You’re making six figures or the developing world equivalent
- You have or are working on multiple streams of income
4) Getting Legally Married
Despite what some influencers in the men’s self-improvement movement might want to believe, the 1950’s no longer exist and are not coming back anytime soon. Getting married, buying a house, working a job for life and retiring after 50 years of service is no longer a realistic life plan.
I’m not saying don’t have kids or start a family (because most of you will anyways), I’m saying don’t get the government involved in redistributing your assets – and there is a coin flip’s chance of that happening. Because you’re not going to end up on the right side of family court. You’ll end up broke at 50 in a studio apartment paying alimony for the rest of your life.
Now, there are, I’m sure a lot of happy marriages, and it helps if you have your SMV, game and relationship management skills together. But at the end of the day, of those 50% of divorces, 70% are initiated by women. As No matter how good your game is, or how good a father you are, you do not control the outcome (see point 7) !
If you want to go the lifetime monogamy route, just make sure you’ve done your homework. And if you’re planning on having a family as well, make sure you do everything possible to protect your assets in case of a divorce. From how you incorporate your company, to filing taxes, to separate bank accounts, to signing a cohabitation agreement, to asset distribution – be as prepared as humanly possible, because the courts are not in your favor.
5) Assuming your relationship will last forever
Nothing lasts forever, best case scenario, you live long and happy with your sweetheart, you have passion and sex all the way through, and death does you part within days of each other.
It’s possible, but more likely is that most of your relationships will end. If your relationship is going well, and you have a bright future, obviously looking at the positive side of things is the right move. With that said, banking your whole life on a relationship can be a dangerous move, you should always have other things in your life going on and be aware of how healthy your relationship is.
Too many guys don’t pay attention to signals and get “blindsided out of nowhere”. Instead do your best to keep a good relationship going, until it’s not good anymore, then don’t be afraid to put a bullet in it (even if it hurts).
6) Sacrificing your position
Despite what some people might tell you…
The fact is, most women only love up.
Women screen for taller, stronger, more money, smarter, older, higher status and higher rank in the relationship. This is why you want to maintain your position as a leader. I’m not saying be a tyrant, but the ideal relationship is one where you’re the leader – with a woman who is agreeable and looking for a man like you, if you don’t create that releationship you’ll have problems because she will be pushing hard for your position.
That’s why, if you’re a TYPE A personality, it’s better to leave TYPE A women to other guys instead of trying to force a round peg into a square hole. To alpha personalities only leads to fighting. Much better to find someone who is agreeable and looking for a man to take on a leadership position in the relationship.
7) Thinking You’re Above The Game
Pride comes before the fall. No matter how good you are at attracting women, how good your relationship game is, and how good you are in bed – the rules of the game always apply. Thinking that “you got this” or that the rules don’t apply to you anymore is setting yourself up to get smoked. There is a game with women, just like there is a financial game, a health game and a lifestyle game – and when you break the rules, you pay for it.
