How To Develop Your Dating Gameplan Part 1: Player Vs. Provider Game

When it comes to dating, just like everything else in life, your gameplan determines your results. If you present the image of an edgy bad boy looking for fun you get DTF girls. If you present the image of a stable provider you get girls looking for a relationship. It all depends on what you want to get out of the game.

To get what you want out of the game, you need to know your gameplan down to the letter before you even talk to a girl or send her a message online. From what you want out of the relationship, to your timeline to sex, to where you’re going to take her – the better your gameplan is, the better your results will be.

In this five part series we’re going to cover everything you need to know starting with whether to approach girls as a player or a provider.

Player Vs. Provider Game

To develop your gameplan, the first thing you need to determine is whether you’re going to position yourself with women as a player or a provider. In our men’s movement the overwhelming amount of advice is geared toward becoming a player, including the advice on this site.

Player Game

If you want to approach women as a player, you’ve come to the right place and the women section of RLD will serve you well along with these articles:

If you want to be a player, and you have a high sex drive, and you’re not the jealous type, and your SMV is top 15% then that’s your move and I fully recommend approaching girls from that angle.

Provider Game

Unfortunately, I’ve realized something from talking with thousands of men over the last four years: not everyone can be a player.  The truth is ultra-fast-sex-variety game with hot girls is just not available to every guy. At least not with the quality of girls you want a variety of.

The unfortunate truth is, as men we’re always playing from a disadvantaged position in the sexual marketplace, and because women have so many options for easy sex, only the top 15% of guys in their age bracket get quick access to attractive women.

With hard work on building your SMV and fine tuning your game, many guys can make it to poll position. But unfortunately, being top 15% is not available to every guy. In fact there are entire hater forums filled with aspiring players who became disillusioned with the results they we’re sold as opposed to the results they actually got in real life.

And I can’t blame guys who are frustrated.

An aspiring player buddy of mine told me he went 0 for 2000 trying to play fast nightclub and day game, it makes me sick to hear shit like that. No man should have to deal with that kind of garbage.

Chasing down and getting rejected by sloppy 6s every night at the club is no way to live. And neither is studying game for years with no results only to see your dumb, good looking friends make tons of dumb mistakes and still smash new girls consistently.

So if you’ve tried fast game, and it’s not working, running provider game might be the right move for you. And that means changing your tactics. Sure provider game will cost you more of your time and money, and it’s not as cool as being a player, but it also comes with some major advantages.

When my aspiring buddy decided to slow down and focus on day game and online he eventually got a cute, sweet girlfriend and last I heard they we’re touring Europe together with the money he made from his online, programming, service-based business – a massive step up from where he was when I met him.

If your SMV isn’t getting you fast sex, the best move might be to go hard for the next 3 years maxing out your attractiveness, game and building up your business. And in that time, you run provider game and screen for a nice, loyal girl within your league who is going to support you in your mission.

That way, instead of chasing down sloppy drunk girls who don’t value what you bring to the table, you get a loyal girl, consistent sex, have more time to work on your business as well as learn the crucial relationship management skills that will serve you well later in life.

You also have the option to upgrade your girlfriend as your SMV and your cash gets to where you want it to be. You might have been a four to start, but after getting fit, getting your style together, and getting that six figure programming business off the ground, you’re a different animal altogether.

Three years from now, when you show up to the date at a nice restaurant in a nice car (rented), wearing nice clothes, acting confident and can take her back to a nice apartment (rented) downtown, your options just got a lot more appealing.

Not only that, but when you run provider game you can actually get girls slightly outside of your league. Let’s say you’ve taken your raw SMV from a 4 to a 6. But when you add money, and stability and security and masculinity to the equation, you can now pull 7s or even 7.5s for a relationship.

I’ve seen tons of dudes with better looking girlfriends, because women value the fuck out of loyal guys that can take care of them, this is especially true of women who come from a traditional background.

Not the case with a player, as a player you rarely get girls out of your league because the dating pool is so large for a DTF girl that she can easily pull a better looking guy slumming it for an easy lay.

Lastly, even if you have the SMV to be a top 15% guy, you might not want to rack up a bunch of numbers and share your girls with other guys (don’t think for a second she’s not fucking with other guys because your game is that good, unless you’re exclusive she’s always fucking or at the very least talking to other guys).

Whether you don’t have the SMV (at least not yet), or you want a more traditional relationship , running provider game is 100% acceptable in my book. Because the key to the playing the game of life is doing what makes you happy. And if being a provider makes you happier, then that’s your move.


If you’ve got the looks and the skills and the disposition, being a player is a fun way to go through life. But it’s not the only way. You also have the option to sell yourself as a provider.

I’ve had a lot of fun as a player but as I get older it might not be the right move for me. A good woman (without legal marriage of course) and a family (with a parenting plan and asset dissolution contract in place of course) are things I’m considering within the next 5 to 7 years (but still leaning towards no).

Because make no mistake, women love providers. Emotional support, money, and stability are more important to women than hot sex with a dirty guy. But the ultimate is to combine both. An alpha male provider is what every woman fantasises about.

As a player I can tell you this, I rarely lose women to other players, I lose them to providers, guys who are willing to commit and provide for her. Once they’ve given up on manipulating a commitment out of me, they go find a guy who will give it to them.

I know this might not be what you want to hear, and you might have your time wasted more often by wining and dining girls who never end up putting out. But running provider game also comes with it’s own advantages, like social acceptance, trust (hopefully), stability and consistent sex.

I know you might be surprised to hear the case for provider game from me, but I want you to get the best results for your efforts. And if provider game is the difference between you being involuntarily celibate and ending up on a hater forum or getting a cute/semi- cute girlfriend, I say go for it.

Just be careful to do your screening homework with every girl and make sure she’s not trying to sell relationship game to you while she’s out fucking the football team.

Once you have an idea of the game you want to run, the next move is to learn how to adapt yourself to the situation. Check out part 2 to see exactly how to do that.