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How To Develop Your Dating Gameplan Part 2: Adapting Your Gameplan To The Situation

*Disclaimer: Consent and being ethical is crucial, especially in this day and age, both for your karma and your legal protection all advice about sex in this article is in the context, make sure you know and follow the laws of your state and country. 

In part 1 of this series we covered player vs. provider game. Understanding whether you’re going to approach women as a player or a provider is important in determining your gameplan, but that’s just step one. To be effective you need to adapt your game to every situation.

You want to know exactly how you’re going to play your hand with every woman you meet in person or online, before you even talk to her or send her a message.

The key factors to consider in every situation are:

  1. Your timeline to sex
  2. How you present yourself (player vs. provider game)
  3. What your next move is (contact info/where you’re going to take her/how fast to escalate)

You should know in advance, exactly how you’re going to play those 3 factors before you even talk to a woman. From how fast you’d ideally want to be intimate, to the style of your approach, to whether you’re going to go for her contact info, for a date, or inviting her over.

But that doesn’t mean your gameplan has to be static, you can and should run different game on different women and play different follow up moves depending on circumstances. And depending on where you are in your life, where you live and what you’re looking for, your gameplan will change over time – that said, I’m not talking about being dishonest or unethical – when I talk about game I talk about salesmanship and angles – all life is salesmanship – persona literally translates to actor’s mask in Greek. 

And don’t think for a second women aren’t selling us, they’re putting their highlight reel on Facebook, framing their past in an appealing way, using pushup bras, makeup, high heels, hair treatments and extensions, surgeries – all in an effort to get the results they want from men. Every person on this planet is running game. The game is the game is the game – there is no avoiding it. The key is to be honest and ethical, but also playing the right card at the right time to make sure you get your needs met.

To do that you need to factor in a number of different things:

How To Adapt Your Gameplan To The Situation

Your Age

A big part of your gameplan comes down to where you are in your life. If you’re 22, and you just moved out of the house and you’re looking to have fun and get your game up, having a lot of casual sex might be the best move for you (at least temporarily, I don’t recommend casual sex as a lifestyle).

As you age though, your gameplan should become somewhat more age appropriate. Now that doesn’t mean you have to go the traditional route and become a provider. But being the 50 year old guy in the club chasing down drunk girls is probably not the best lifestyle choice. You’re better off looking to meet women online on during the day for MLTR’s (multiple long term relationships, where you’re dating 2 or 3 girls and seeing them once a week) or to find a girlfriend.

Your Schedule

Your schedule is going to determine a good chunk of your gameplan. If you’re grinding hard seven days a week on your business like you should be (at least in the early stages), you’re not going to have time to chase down girls every night at the club (plus night game is garbage and the least efficient use of your time).

Your schedule also determines how fast you can convert a woman. If you meet a girl during the day, chances are you won’t be free, and neither will she so an instant hook up is usually out of the question. Your schedule is something you need to take into account in determining what the right move is for you in each situation.

Location

If you met her at 3 AM at a sweaty club, getting her phone number is a complete waste, she’ll just write you off as that club guy the next day. Your best move is to try and get her home with you that night (with consent of course).

However, if you meet her at a party through your social circle, and know you’re going to see her again, and you know that there are social consequences for failure, then taking your time is the right move.

You never need to get rejected in your social circle, because there is no need to pull the trigger until you’re sure. You’ll know if she’s into you through her body language, proximity to you at parties and because your friends will tell you. If you’re unsure, it’s usually better to wait until you know what’s up.

Size Of Your City

In a big city, with a ton of prospects, you can afford to play aggressively and leave a lot of money on the table in pursuit of efficiency because your dating pool is so large.

That’s not true in a small city however. In a small city you have to play smart game with every prospect, because not only are there potential social consequences for failure, but your dating pool is small. And that means you can’t afford to f*ck up the limited amount of good prospects you have.

In a small city, playing medium term or slow game is going to be the better move because you need to:

  1. Protect your pipeline
  2. Keep a high conversion rate (you can’t afford to burn through prospects like in big city game)

Your SMV

Your SMV or sexual market value is going to be by far the biggest factor in your gameplan. In my opinion, to be successful with running player game on attractive women you need to be in the top 15% for your age bracket which is on average 10 years below your age and up (i.e. at 34, my age bracket is women from 24 to 34).

Since women can have fast sex so easily, they have a large pool of guys to choose from at any time. And since women looking for casual sex are so valuable in the sexual marketplace, it’s easy for them to leverage their sexual availability to hook up outside of their league with good looking guys looking for a fast hook up.

If you have good game and a solid SMV you can afford to play fast game. Even if your SMV is average but your game is tight you can still get some fast hookups (with consenting women who are also looking for casual fun).

However, if your SMV is below average, a fast gameplan might not be your best move. Not everyone has the raw genetic material to be top 15%, so you need to play accordingly while working on maxing out your SMV.

It’s also very important to be realistic. If you’re a 5, and you’ve got your first prospect in 4 months, you can’t afford to blow it by playing too aggressive. Even if it means risking getting your time wasted. Playing smart and slowing your gameplan down is your best move.

If your SMV isn’t that high, the girl might not be super attracted to you right away. But with time, you can show her through your confidence and masculinity and emotional intelligence that you have more to offer than what she first thought. Women put a ton of value on emotional support and trust and stability.

Some guys consider those traits weak, but if you haven’t been with a woman in a year, you need to do whatever it takes. If it takes a bit of wining and dining to get yourself a girlfriend who’s going to support you and give you consistent sex, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In fact, you might find yourself in a situation where you’re pulling girls out of your league because women put so much value in trust. It’s definitely in the realm of possibility to be a 6 and pull a 7.5 when you run provider game.

She might not feel the raw attraction to you that she would to a top 1% player, but that doesn’t matter because you’re playing your hand to the best of your ability. And if it’s a choice between being sexless or getting a cute girlfriend, I say do what it takes, just make sure you’re not doing things that compromise your pride.

With that said, after 3 years of working on your SMV and your game, you might find yourself in the top 15% and can give fast speed player game another shot.

Skill Level

How good you are with women should be a big factor in determining your gameplan. You can be a really good looking guy but not have the experience and confidence to pull off a quick hook up, so a medium term gameplan might be your move until you get your weight up. This is more common than you think, I’ve talked with many good looking guys who weren’t getting women because of social anxiety and lack of confidence.

On the other hand, you could only have decent SMV, but be super confident and charming and be able to pull girls quickly and consistently. Confidence and skill are a big part of fast hookups and that comes with experience and practice.

Quality Of The Woman

Maybe three times a year I meet a woman who has girlfriend potential for me – well dressed, baby face, kind heart + that x factor.

alexis-bledel

 

From 20 years in the game I can tell instantly if I’m going to be able to have strong feelings for the girl I’m talking to or if it’s just going to be a bit of fun.

When I meet a quality woman I’m going to play that prospect to the fullest. No sexual messages, no risky jokes, no aggressive messaging, no aggressive ultra-fast moves. Sure I’ll ask her to come home on the first date but I know the answer will usually be no. My gameplan with a high quality woman is 3 date conversion game with the option for 5.

I never play specifically for a 5 date conversion, but I’ll allow it for a high quality woman, I might even take her to a few nice restaurants before we have sex because a good woman has a ton of value to me and I want to maximize my chances of getting her in my life.

With a high quality woman, who has the potential to really add value, I play smart.

Conclusions

Understanding the above factors is a crucial part of developing your gameplan, and the more variables you account for the better your gameplan will be. If you’re only interested in slow playing provider game with quality women, that’s all good.

But for most guys, you’ll need to be able to adapt to the situation as it presents itself.

You might run ultra-fast, aggressive tinder game (with consent respected of course), but also be slow playing women in your social circle. Or you might be a seasoned player who finds himself in a small city and now has to play slow, low profile social circle game to get the few quality women in that town.

Whatever the move is, being adaptable is key to getting the results you want. So that every time you message or talk to a girl you know exactly what to say and how to execute your gameplan. In part 3 of this series I’ll show you exactly how do that.