How To Handle Frustration With Other People
If you’re a high IQ, high functioning and highly driven man, frustration with other people is something you’re probably familiar with.
That might sound like an arrogant introduction to an article (and it is). But it’s also a reality.
There are smarter and more driven men than me for sure.
But when you’re a capable go-getter and you make personal development a priority…
Often times you find yourself frustrated with other people’s decisions.
Whether it’s when you’re in traffic and a motorist threatens your life with a dumb decision.
Or you’re dealing with an employee who consistently makes mistake you think would be obvious.
If you’re nodding your head in agreement right now, chances are you’re frustrated.
And that’s a problem for three reasons.
- It spoils your mood
- When you act on your frustration, especially in business, you sabotage your goals
- You can find yourself acting unethically which you later regret when you calm down
The good news is you can get frustration under control and minimize it through four simple steps.
These steps have made a massive difference in my quality of life.
How To Handle Frustration With Other People
1) Lower Your Expectations
People are going to do dumb stuff in traffic.
Most dates will be mediocre, and most women will be late.
Most guys you meet, you won’t want to recruit for your inner circle.
Employees and contractors are going to do things wrong and at a lower standard then you would.
The guy you’ve been cold calling for 6 months, who agreed to sign, will waffle and then ignore you.
All these things are going to happen consistently.
The smart move is to lower your expectations, not for yourself but for other people.
It’s about controlling what you can control.
You can control everything you do.
But you only have a limited amount of control with other people.
When you lower your expectations, you eliminate a lot of frustration right off the bat.
When you go to the DMV expect it to be a disaster.
When you’re in rush hour traffic, expect people to do dumb sh$% consistently
When you have low expectations and you’ll rarely be disappointed.
And you’ll occasionally be pleasantly surprised.
2) Make Structural Changes
Lowering your expectations does a lot for situations you don’t have total control over.
With that said, if you’re finding yourself in rush hour traffic every day, that’s a problem.
Lowered expectations is playing defense, which is important.
But you also need to be on honest and see if you can solve problems at a structural level.
You can’t control other people, but you can control the situations you put yourself in.
You can control your environment by:
- Going to good restaurants where you get good service
- Going to nice lounges with your friends and avoiding thugs and degenerates
- Finding the right girl who doesn’t create drama and adds value to your life
- Getting the best employees and contractors you can afford, who do quality work
- Avoiding traffic by living within walking distance of your office
- Spending your leisure time with guys who are accountable and reliable
You can create a massive increase in your quality of life through making the right structural changes.
3) Become More Valuable
At this point you might be thinking…
“Will, that all sounds good, but hiring A+ employees, eating at nicer restaurant and living close to work all sound expensive.”
And you’re right, it usually costs money to solve problems.
Although that’s not always the case…
By getting rid of your car and moving close to the office you might actually save money.
But in many cases you’re going need to get your income up.
And that’s a good thing, because you need to get your income up in this economy.
But it’s about more than that, you want to make yourself more valuable.
When you increase your sexual market value, you get access to better women.
When you become more charming you get access to a better social circle.
Becoming more valuable makes a major impact on your ability to create structural changes.
4) Focus On Getting What You Want Instead of being right
Lastly, one of the biggest things you can do, is to make a mindset shift.
Forget about being right and focus on getting what you want.
I can’t emphasize how important this is.
Become a player in the game of life, and play to win.
I learned this every day in my former career in corporate sales.
To succeed in the game of life you need to learn how to sell.
Because life is sales, every time you communicate you’re selling, whether you realize it or not.
If you need to correct an employee.
Pull them to the side and give them a sh$% sandwich.
That’s a compliment, followed by lightly correcting the problem, followed by another compliment.
When you’re dealing with clients, avoid contradicting and confronting them when possible.
Especially your best clients.
If that means accepting total responsibility for something not 100% your fault…
Do it, and do it without even missing a beat.
It costs you nothing to accept responsibility.
It costs you a fortune to insist on being right.
One client paying you $10,000 a month is $120,000 over the year.
Forget about being frustrated that you can’t be right.
Instead be proud about how well you play the game.
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