That is until she dumps you for making her your #1 priority and leaning on her for all your happiness.
Many men find themselves depressed after a break up and this is why.
It’s not because she dumped you, although that hurts…
It’s because she dumped and you had nothing else going on.
Breakups hurt but a breakup won’t put you into depression by itself.
A breakup only puts you into depression when you feel like you have nothing else to live for.
Total depression = bored of everything = nothing matters = total distress.
You can’t be depressed when you have a purpose and a mission.
Having a mission is what gives soldiers the strength to stay strong while living through a horror movie.
It’s only after they get home that they sink into depression because they’ve now lost their purpose.
That’s why you always have to have a purpose and make it a priority.
As opposed to a girlfriend, who will punish you for putting her on a pedestal…
Your purpose never punishes you for making it your primary priority.
Instead your purpose rewards you.
My mission wakes me up to passive income and positive comments from readers.
My mission rewards me every day with something to do and new challenges to accomplish.
With no purpose, or if your purpose is well below your potential, like working unfulfilling job…
Boredom and eventually depression are the end result, this is distress.
Just like if you’re player 1 and you have no video game to play, or the game you have now is too easy.
But on the other end, if you have purpose and that purpose demands more than your potential…
The end result is fear, irritability, breakdowns, and depression – also distress.
This is a common condition for a lot of corporate killers living in high stress environments.
You’re distressed when you’re below your potential and distressed when you’re pushed too far above what you’re capable of.
You need a mission and a purpose that challenges your potential and that stretches you, but not beyond your potential.
When you have the right mission, you have eustress, or positive stress that makes you stronger, more capable and most importantly, happier.
Eustress is what the great philosophers mean when they talk about adversity strengthening you.
But not all adversity is created equal, you do not need or want distress in your life.
Distress makes you weaker.
Distress like getting a disease or a divorce are not good examples of the kind of challenges you want to have in your life.
Eustress is making gains in the gym, where you’re causing microtears in the muscle, but with rest those tears heal and you become stronger.
Eustress is completing challenging projects in your business and getting those financial wins under your belt.
Your ideal mission is a game with the skill setting at the apex of your potential but not above it.
And that game is one that’s big enough to play for life.
I can play RLD create strategies and develop insights for living until the day I die.
I can do this because it’s my purpose, because I’m fascinated by life, because I have an infinite amount of topics to cover, and because there are no limits to the scalablity of my business.
I have a mission to hit by 40 within my metagame, and when I hit it, I’ll just create another mission for 50…
Thats the key – always having and creating new levels and missions within your metagame game.
When you have all that you get eustress.
You get high on pushing to your potential and making continual progress.
You get high on achieving and happy on growing.
And the more you achieve, the stronger and more confident you get.
You might not love selling real estate, but you can learn to get high on taking action, closing deals, building your empire and dominating your space.
And then ironically, leisure time and hobbies become more valuable, because they are a break in comparison to work.
Ironically, you can start to enjoy your leisure time and look forward to it, because you know you’ve earned it after a hard day’s work.
I love to read and expand my understanding of life after a hard days work, but I’d want to hang myself if all I did was lay in bed and read.
I like to have a few drinks with my friends at night, but I would lose my mind if all I did was drink margaritas on the beach all day.
I love to spend time with girls I like after work, but I know with certainty that spending every waking moment with that girl would destroy the relationship.
The key is having the right metagame, with the right mission that fulfills your passions, purpose and potential.
That metagame should fill the bulk of the day with eustress or productive stress.
Then after a hard day’s work, you get to play your other games, with the proper limiting barriers of time and energy so you don’t get bored of those games.
And the goal is to create a life around doing that every day…
Living somewhere sunny while on a mission you love that strengthens and fulfills you. And then after a hard days work, you get to enjoy going out with the boys, having girls over, eating good food, going to the movies, playing guitar or whatever games you like to play.
When you have the right games, and you stay winning and stay achieving, depression is a thing of the past.