You need to take total responsibility for your life because when you don’t, you assume the role of victim.
You’re a victim when your narrative is built around bad things that other people did to you and your lack of control over processing those events.
That’s not a good narrative to have because as long as you continue to identify as a victim, bad things will continue to happen to you. In fact, bad things happening to you is the very definition of victimhood.
I’m not negating those negative things that happened to you. I know that many of us have suffered serious traumas outside our control…
What I’m saying is that, if you don’t take responsibility for controlling your narrative over those events, you will only end up suffering more.
When you refuse to take responsibility, you accept that life is out of your control. And as long you believe your life is out of control, you’ll never be able to build the life you want.
When you take responsibility for your past, your reward is control of your present and future. And having that control is crucial when it comes to building your ideal life.
Now I’m not saying you have total control over all the things that happen to you, I’m saying that you have total control over how you react to them.
Taking responsibility is a leadership move…
If you’re the commanding officer in the military and your mission fails you take ownership of that. Your superior doesn’t want to hear excuses. When you try to place blame you admit the fact that you couldn’t control your men.
When the back office messes up a client order, you take responsibility. The client doesn’t care that Marni messed up the order. When you don’t dont’ take responsibility you tell your client you can’t control your support staff or his clients orders and he will continue to have problems doing business with you in the future.
Taking responsibility is a character move. Think of any man you admire and I guarantee you he will take responsibility for his life, he’s not going to be blaming others for why he didn’t get what he wanted.
To get the life you deserve you need to:
Take responsibility for reframing negative events that happened to you that we’re outside your control.
Taking responsibility for mistakes you made that we’re inside of your control.
Taking responsibility for the things you’re currently unsatisfied with in your life.
Taking responsibility for creating the best present and best future you can.
You can’t control everything, but you can control what’s in your control.
And through dedication you can expand what’s in your control.
And for the things outside of your control, you can control how you respond to them.
You can control your emotional reactions and the narrative you create about all the events in your life.
This is not only a stone, cold fact but an absolute necessity if you want to be a victor in the game of life as opposed to a victim.
Responsibility can be a bitter pill to swallow sometimes, but you need to take your medicine to get better. And the more responsibility you take for your life, the better you will be able to play the game of life, and that’s what it’s all about it.