How To Text Girls

I’ll save you the trouble of buying a “text game” book, because the reality is, getting women is not about how clever your messages are. 90% of getting girls is your SMV (Sexual Market Value), the other 10% is your game, and I mean in-person-game – how you come across on the first date. Seduction is sales, your SMV is your product, and your game is your salesmanship – and 90% of sales is your product (if you don’t believe me try to sell someone a cell phone from the 80’s).

Text or IM is for 2 things:

  1. Logistics: Getting a girl to meet up
  2. Relationship Management: Staying in touch with a girl you’ve already f*$#ed

How To Text Girls

1) Logistics

You don’t “build massive attraction” through text game as some PUA’s claim. The girl who gave you her number or her contact info online will be ready to meet up in 3 to 5 messages, if she’s not a timewaster. If she’s not ready to meet, you might as well delete that number, “text game” won’t change that. You can still make it work, but your odds are 1% or less in my experience.

And better to meet her as quick as possible. If it doesn’t happen in the first week it’s not happening (99% of the time), ideally you want to meet her that day or in the next few days. You also don’t need to worry about waiting to respond to her messages, if anything that will work against you – strike when the iron is hot. By getting into a text-waiting war, where you’re trying to answer back at her slow response rate, you kill your chances of meeting up

Don’t worry about looking needy, she’ll either be in or out after about 5 messages back and forth. And also, who cares what one girl thinks who won’t meet up with you, and who won’t remember you a week from now.

After 3-5 messages go for the meetup, if it doesn’t work, just move on to the next. In general when you’re going to get laid it goes easily and smoothly just like how you think it would – it’s pretty straightforward, the less she seems into it (long response times, not volunteering much info) the less likely she will be to meet up.

Here is a close that I use:

“I’d love to get to know you more over coffee, what’s your schedule like this week?”

When I get her free nights I’ll usually confirm like:

“Great, Tuesday night is perfect for me, why don’t you meet me at x coffee shop for 9 PM, it’s on the corner of x and y street in z neighborhood”

If she’s in, message her back:

“Great, looking forward to it, will see you then :)”

Then on the day of the meet, message her to confirm that she’s in. If she’s going to flake she’ll either tell you she can’t make it because of ______ excuse or she won’t respond, either way you won’t have wasted your time.

Pro Tip: Invite her to a coffee shop/bar close to your place so that:

  1. You have the option to invite her home if the date goes well
  2. You won’t have gone halfway across the city if she decides to stand you up at the last minute

Unfortunately, setting up dates is rarely that easy, in fact the majority of women will waste your time. Since dating is sales you want to treat it the same way. Focus on hot prospects and get timewasters out of your sales funnel, which will save you a lot of time and mental energy.

Here are 10 signs that you’re dealing with a timewaster:

  1. She’s A Woman: Woman are completely unaccountable when it comes to dating outside their social ramifications circle where there are no social consequences. Don’t expect much and you won’t be disappointed.
  2. She’s Online: Women are even more unaccountable online than if you had met her during the day or at an event. A lot of women are online for attention, validation, amusement, finding platonic friends, or any other number of reasons that aren’t aligned with your goal of getting a date (or getting laid).
  3. She Gives Short Answers: You ask how her day is going and she answers “good.” You ask how her weekend was and she says “meh.” Usually these are young girls testing their power, seeing how little they can give and have a man respond. Girls that are interested in meeting up usually give more detailed answers. They answer questions positively and ask questions of their own.
  4. She Won’t Confirm Plans: I treat a maybe as a no because in 99.9% of cases it is. I still might text her the day-of and try and get her to hang out, but it’s not something I plan for. If she was excited about hanging out, she would go out of her way to make it happen. Not confirming plans means you’re low on her priority list and if everything else falls through and you happen to text her she might meet up with you. That is, if it’s not raining or too far away from her house, I’m being serious here.
  5. She Flakes: If she flakes once, she’s going to flake again with almost 100% certainty. Unless you happen to text her when she’s drunk, horny and DTF, don’t expect to see her again. Now that’s not to say you can’t try, just don’t expect much.
  6. She Tries To Reschedule: This is just one step below a flake. It’s true in life that sometimes things come up, but generally if you’re excited about something you make it a priority. If I had a date with Sasha Grey I would show up if there was a hurricane. Rescheduling usually means she’s feeling lazy or something better came up, but she’s still kind of interested in you. She might show up to the next date but chances are she won’t.
  7. She Takes Three Or More Days To Respond: This means she’s not taking you seriously. These girls almost always go silent eventually so don’t waste your time.
  8. She Says She Needs To Get To Know You Better First: If she’s not comfortable enough to meet up after a few messages then she never will be. At first you new guys might be tempted to message a girl for weeks on end to get her comfortable with you. I used to do that myself, but watch her go silent any time you ask to meet up. Girls who are serious will be ready to meet up after a handful of messages back and forth – 5 at the most.
  9. She Won’t Book A Meeting In The First Week: Sometimes she’s legitimately busy, but generally if you haven’t gotten her to meet up within a week of first messaging her, it’s not going to happen. The further out you get, the worse your odds are. I treat every new prospect like she has a one-week expiration date.
  10. She’s Rude: It should go without saying that a girl who is rude to you doesn’t respect you. This means she won’t be meeting up, but more importantly, that you shouldn’t want to meet up with her. Normal girls with healthy self esteem don’t say nasty things to people they don’t know – drop her like a hot potato.

Dating really is a numbers on massive level. If you’re smart you’ll cut your losses as quickly as possible, get rid of timewasters quickly, and only spend your valuable time on girls who want to meet you and who treat you well.


Communication is very important to women which means outside of logistics, she will have expectations about how much you stay in touch. Depending on what relationship you’re in, you’ll be expected to text more.

Usually girls expect:

Casual relationship: logistics only
MLTR (Multiple relationships): 2 to 3 days of light messaging a week
Girlfriend relationship: Every day

I try not to text too much during the day because I’m working and I don’t like texting much anyways. Ill usually just offer a quick response at lunch or on break, but do most of my texting at night. As above the deeper the relationship the more she’ll expect you to text her, but you don’t want to do it. Better to have her wanting to message more than you do, with you responding to her messages when you have a spare minute.

Pro Tip: if she’s being dramatic, getting into a text fight is never a good move, or a good use of your time. The best response to a text you don’t like is no response. If she has an issue better to talk about it in person so you can do conflict resolution which is not possible from texting. So much can get miscommunicated over text or IM, just tell her you’ll talk about it when you see her.


It really is that simple for the most part, with that said you can see my exact top to bottom process, with all the objection management in my book How To Get Laid On Tinder. Just don’t make the mistake of over complicating things, 90% of your results come from your SMV, the other 10% come from game and texting is a very small part of that.

Related Resources

  1. Great info my man. Havent been on here in a minute. Keep up the great work. Do you think its a penalty on my end if I dont like texting period because of the drawbacks and negative possibility of them screenshoting your texts for receipts just in case things go south they air out your dirty laundry online. For example how groupies expose texts through social media from men they dated. Am I too over paranoid. I dont even like talking on the phone much as I perfer to talk in person. Whats your thoughts on that?

  2. I don’t like texting either my man, pretty much everything can be covered in face to face. However in today’s day and age, it’s a price you have to pay, with that said I try and keep it to a minimum. As for dirty laundry, as long as you’re not cheating on your girl, it shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t recommend cheating for many reasons, from ethics to sneaking around to remembering all your lies it’s just not worth it. As for any other laundry, my advice is just not to text anything you wouldn’t want other people to know, that means drama, or threats or anything else. I’ll send sexual texts to girls I’m seeing but no one would care, including my mom, my life is an open book. But if yours isn’t then cut out the sexual texts too.

Your email address will not be published.