How To Last Longer In Bed And Conquer Premature Ejaculation
Premature ejaculation is a problem, and not just for young inexperienced guys whose hormones are out of control, it applies to older guys as well, the truth is there are a lot men out there searching for how to last longer in bed.
Here are just a few of the searches guys make about premature ejaculation every month, totaling anywhere from 300,000 to 3 million monthly Google search queries:
- Premature ejaculation
- How to last longer in bed
- How to last longer during sex
- How to increase your sex stamina
- How to stop premature ejaculation
- Premature ejaculation cure
- Premature ejaculation treatment
- Erectile dysfunction treatment
- Erectile dysfunction causes
- Erectile dysfunction cures
- Erectile dysfunction medicine
- Erection problems
If you’re feeling ashamed about not being able to last in bed, you’re not alone, as you can see from the above searches, millions of men struggle with the same problem every year.
With that said, if I could choose between impotence or premature ejaculation, I would definitely choose premature ejaculation. Impotence can be the result of heart problems, venous leakage, dopamine dis-regulation, or the side effect of certain medications, among other things.
Impotence can be solved, but of the two problems, premature ejaculation is a much quicker and easier solution. When I had sex for the first time it took me 10 minutes of jerking off to get it up, only to come in about 30 seconds, a terrible performance if there ever was one.
I started off with perhaps the worst entry possible into the sex game, but since then I’ve had a great sex life, and actually ended up writing the book on sex, which earns me good money every month. And premature ejaculation is nothing but a distant memory, along with the girl I used to date. Now it’s just a funny story, one I broadcast to the entire internet without one single fuck given.
You might think it’s a big deal now, and I know it feels like one now, but the truly important things in your life are your health and your wealth, and as long as you have those, you’re good. Once you learn how to last longer in bed, premature ejaculation will become just another distant memory.
It’s really nothing to be ashamed of, all it means is that you enjoy sex, and you’re excited to be in bed with that particular girl. Which some women might even take as a compliment.
Not only that, what you think might be premature ejaculation might actually be average. According to multiple studies, premature ejaculation is defined as sex lasting 1 to 2 minutes, the average guy lasts 2 to 7 minutes which “sexologists” consider “adequate”, and 7 to 13 minutes is considered “desirable.” Make no mistake, what you see in porn is not real life, even though you think you cum too quickly, you might be considered average compared to other guys.
And lastly you should never be ashamed of your problems, your manhood is not defined by your dick, it’s defined by your character, your integrity, your word, your heart, your work ethic and your ability to overcome obstacles.The only thing you should only be ashamed of is not putting in work to find the solutions to your problems.
To solve premature ejaculation permanently I recommend the following solutions:
How To Last Longer In Bed
Most of the tips and techniques below have been taken from my battle-tested field manual on having better sex. Not only does my book cover premature ejaculation, it covers all the problems you might have in the bedroom, and the solutions.
But more importantly, my book teaches you how to become the best lover you can be, in every area of sex, from dominance, to energy, to techniques, to positions, to using toys and supplements. If you want to take your sexual game to the highest level, I highly recommend you pick it up and test it out, just click the link below to learn more:
With that said, I’ve taken the premature ejaculation techniques from the book, reorganized them, and added a few new ones for you here:
1. Jerk off Before You Have Sex
Jerking off before you know you’re going to have sex is the least ideal option, but it’s also the most powerful. I’m a big fan of trying to ejaculate as little as possible because I believe the less you ejaculate, the more energy you have, the better your mood is, and the easier it is for you to transmute your sexual energy into blissful, tantric-style sex, or towards slow, deeply bonded, heart-centered karezza style sex.
That might sound a little woo-woo to you guys, and I would have thought the same in my younger years, but I can tell you from experience that the happiest, most blissful sex I’ve ever had is when I don’t ejaculate, when I’m with a girl I really care about, and when I recirculate the sexual energy into my heart center.
Those techniques are covered in my book, but it will take you a while to master. If you’re seeing a girl regularly and you’re consistently having a problem with premature ejaculation, just jerk off right before she comes over, it will give you the stamina you normally have on round 2.
Jerking off might take some of the pleasure out of sex, and drain your energy, but if premature ejaculation is getting you down, it’s definitely the lesser of two evils. But don’t worry, it’s just a solution for now, until you master the techniques below.
2. Practice Edging And Male Multiple Orgasms
As I said a big fan of No FAP, No PMO (porn/masturbation/orgasm), and transmuting that energy into heart centered sex. Yes, that might make your premature ejaculation worse at first, but over time, once you develop control, you’ll be able to have incredible sex and never worry about premature ejaculation.
This point may sound contradictory to point 1, but the idea is that point 1 is the temporary solution, whereas edging and learning how to have total control over your body, to the point of multiple orgasms, is the long term solution. One you can practice by yourself, so eventually you won’t have to jerk off right before sex.
The best way to start training is to practice edging, which is masturbating up to the point where you feel like you’re going to ejaculate, then slowing down, and repeating that pattern for as long as you can. As you start to get better, you can try practicing dry, or male, multiple, orgasms, also known as injaculating. When you injaculate, not only can you have multiple orgasms, but because you don’t ejaculate, your body doesn’t produce prolactin and you don’t feel an energy or mood drop afterwards. You can just keep going and going like the Energizer Bunny.
Also, you can train yourself, in combination with kegel exercises, to push close to the point of no return, injaculate,, then move the sexual energy from your prostate up your spine, and have extremely powerful orgasms. No bullshit, I can do it, and I’ve trained readers to do it, you can see exactly how in my book, or check out my article and video on how to have insane, full body, male, multiple orgasms.
With that said, having multiple dry orgasms, and then progressing towards full body orgasms is an advanced technique that takes months, so don’t expect to be able to master it today. But the edging is something you can start to make progress on within a week, if not a few days, just set aside 30 minutes to practice edging a day, going close to the point of no return, and then slowing down.
Slow down as much as you have to just try not to stop, and see how long you can go, aim for 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15, all the way up to 25 minutes straight.
Also, while you’re practicing, make sure to become as aware of your body as possible, especially as you’re getting close to the point of no return. The more aware you are of your body, the easier it is to control yourself during sex.
One thing to note, is that I can’t have multiple orgasms when I’m with a girl, I can only do it on my own, although some of my readers can, and you might be able to as well. When I’m with a girl that I care about, who is into spiritual sex, I focus more towards karezza-style, heart centered sex, then I do trying to have tantric-style, multiple orgasms.
3. Train Your Stamina With The Fleshlight
Edging yourself, progressively moving towards lasting longer is a great technique, but even better is to train your stamina with the Fleshlight. The Fleshlight works better than your hand because it stimulates the feeling of a vagina, making it more difficult to last, which makes it better for training when it comes to actual sex.
You can practice standing up or kneeling on the bed while you hold your Fleshlight. Or you can try missionary on your bed, with the Fleshlight wedged between two pillows. Then practice slowly thrusting into the Fleshlight until you get close to the point of no return, slowing down to a snail’s pace but not stopping, and then speeding back up to a slow to medium pace. Again, like with edging, aim to be able to go 25 minutes without stopping.
Not only is the Fleshlight great for training your stamina, it’s also great for getting your cardio up, 25 minutes of Fleshlight training, especially at a medium pace, can work up quite the sweat.
How To Last Longer During Sex
1. Slow Down And Control Your Breathing
The absolute best thing you can do to fight premature ejaculation during sex is slow down. She might be asking for you to go harder, but you control the pace. And you’ll actually find that slow sex can be much more fulfilling then jackhammer-style pounding, especially as you start to experiment with deeper kinds of heart-centered sex.
Slowing down your breathing really helps as well. Be conscious of your breathing. Focus on the in and out breath and on consciously slowing your breathing down. Breathe in and out slowly and deeply from your diaphragm, focusing on being aware of your breath.
By going slow, and slowing down to deep breaths, your body begins to relax, and the more relaxed and in tune with your body you are, the more control you have.
You’ll also find that by going slower than she wants, and teasing her with it, you’ll drive her crazy with anticipation. Especially if you start with a lot of foreplay, and then gently ease the tip of your cock inside her. Start with:
- 8 slow, shallow strokes and 1 deep one
- And then 7 shallow strokes and 2 deep ones
- And then 6 shallow strokes and 3 deep ones
- Until you get to thrusting with only long, slow, deep, strokes
By the time you get to your final shallow thrust, she’ll be clawing your back, and wrapping her legs around you to stay deep inside of her. Especially when you give her 15 to 20 minutes of foreplay beforehand, tease your way into her, and then slowly tease out those shallow strokes.
You should also slow down any time you get close to the point of no return. You can even stop completely and stay deep inside of her kissing her passionately.
One last thing to note about breathing, is for some reason I find it easier to cool off by breathing in and out of my mouth, instead of my nose, obviously you don’t want to do this too loudly and risk sounding like a panting dog, but give it a try if you find yourself getting heated up too quickly.
2. Control The Head Of Your Cock
The head of your cock is the most sensitive part of your penis. And although rubbing your cockhead against the inner wall of her pussy feels really good, it’s also the fastest way to make you cum. Move your cockhead away from her inner walls and try and stay in the middle of her pussy. If she’s tight, or you’re big, this might be difficult, but at least try not to put extra pressure on your cockhead by pressing it up against her inner wall.
3. Control The Position
By controlling the position I mean don’t let her get on top, when she gets on top she controls the pace, as well as where your cock is going, and if you struggle with premature ejaculation, her on top makes it much more likely for you to cum quickly.
I find missionary the best position for control, but it might not be for you, use whatever position works best for you. And don’t worry about switching up positions pornstar style, just holding it down for 15 minutes in missionary puts you ahead of the vast majority of guys, and gets you a “desirable” sex length rating from the sexologists.
4. Move Your Sexual Energy Into Your Heart Center
Slowing down and breathing deeply helps, but if you want to take control of your sexual energy, focus on moving the energy out of your pelvis (or dan tien), into your stomach, and then up into your heart center, which is the energy point in the middle of your chest, midway between your solar plexus and throat.
The key is getting the energy away from your pelvis because when the dan tien becomes too full with energy, you ejaculate. As covered in point 2 of pre-sex training, the best way to transmute your prostate energy is up the spine. But pelvic floor, or dan tien energy, should be moved up the front channel and into your heart chakra.
You can practice by yourself when you masturbate, just gently and very lightly, running your hand from your pelvis to your stomach to your heart. If you close your eyes and concentrate, you’ll be able to feel the energy move up the front channel of your body with your hand. Eventually you’ll be able to move that energy mentally, first by yourself, then during sex, and this is the key to the deeper levels of bonded, blissful sex.
It might sound like some hippy dippy nonsense, but I promise you it works, it’s powerful, and it will help you prevent premature ejaculation.
5. Take Breaks
When you take charge in the bedroom, you control the pace, and this is the natural order of things, confidence is a turn on to every straight woman on the planet.
If you’re getting to close to the point of no return, and slowing down isn’t working, pull out for a few seconds and tell her how good she feels, and how close she’s getting you. Even though you’re breaking the rhythm, she’ll still be happy to know she’s got you worked up, which in turn will make her feel more confident and more comfortable with you.
If pulling out a few times is not enough to get your dick to cool off, go down and eat her pussy for a few minutes. Not only will this give you time to cool off, but many women like oral sex as much, if not more than penetrative sex.
Also, you can even frame going down on her like you’re teasing her. You pull out just as she starts to want you to fuck her harder, only to go down on her and start kissing her inner thighs, slowly teasing your way towards her pussy. Go down on her for a few minutes until she’s getting really into it, and then go back to sex, starting slowly again and teasing her with your cock – this is a very powerful technique, and she’ll have no idea you’re worried about just trying not to cum.
6. Focus Your Mind Somewhere Else
This is another technique, like jerking off before sex, that’s not ideal. It’s not ideal because it puts your mind somewhere else instead of the moment. With that said, like jerking off beforehand, it can be a good solution until you get total mastery of your body.
If you’re fucking her doggystyle where she can’t see you, just pick a point on the wall to focus on, and avoid looking at her ass bouncing up and down. If you’re in missionary, just lean in so your face is on the pillow or on the bed and close your eyes and start thinking about counting sheep backwards, or baseball statistics, any kind of boring distraction to take your mind off the beautiful girl underneath you.
If you’re really having trouble you can try and focus on a point on the wall, or on a non-sexual thought, like baseball, and take deep breaths in and out of the mouth. For some reason I find that more effective than breathing through the nose. If that technique isn’t working you can go down and eat her pussy for a few minutes.
7. Optional: Consider Using Drugs
I put this point as optional, because it’s really hard for me to recommend mood altering drugs. Outside of anti aging drugs, I’m starting to believe that living completely drug free is the best way to be.
With that said when it comes to premature ejaculation there are three drugs that make it harder for your to ejaculate, you can choose to experiment with them, or not to, they are:
- Modafinil (Or Provigil)
If you’ve had sex after having a lot to drink, you’ll notice it’s harder to cum, or that you’re not even able to get hard, what some guys call whiskey dick. Alcohol might make you want sex more, at least at first, but it makes it harder to cum.
If you do drink, this is something you can use to your advantage, especially because drinking is so socially acceptable that going out for drinks on a first date is almost expected. Alcohol in moderation also helps you relax, so you don’t stress too much about potentially prematurely ejaculating.
With that said, just make sure not to drink too much that you can’t get it up. Also, recognize that the more you drink, the worse your sex cardio gets.
Kratom, if legal in your country and state, not only makes it easier to last longer in bed, it also increases your energy, especially if you use a strain like maeng da, which will help you put it down in the bedroom. You’ll definitely be able to put on a better performance with kratom, as opposed to booze. Just be careful, it can be addicting to some people. Stay away from kratom if you have a history of addictions especially to opiates.
Modafinil, (or Provigil), available with a prescription, is not a mood enhancer like kratom, but because of the energy and focus it gives you, it’s also works as a performance enhancer in bed, giving you more energy and delaying your ejaculation time. With that said, SWIM (Someone Who Isn’t Me) no longer uses Modafinil because it gives him too much anxiety.
If premature ejaculation is something that causes you a lot of anxiety prior to sex, Modafinil might not be the best drug for you, or at least not the full dose. Also, Modafinil is not something you can take at night, unless you want to be up all night, you’d need to know you were having sex that night and take it that morning.
One thing to note about all three drugs is that although they work at delaying your orgasm, they make your orgasm weaker and tend to reduce your sex drive. If you struggle with getting it up, in addition to premature ejaculation, I’d stay far away from these drugs.
Let’s say you start practicing all the above techniques over the next few months, but you still struggle occasionally with premature ejaculation. Don’t worry, that’s perfectly OK, you’ll get there eventually as long as you keep practicing.
If you’re a young guy, and you’re just starting to get experience, and you’ve got an 18 year old Brazilian ass in your hands, it would be hard for Superman not to bust a nut. If this happens, just smile and tell her she’s too sexy for you, and that you can’t control yourself around her. Women love being told things like this, it’s almost like giving her an emotional orgasm.
Also, since a lot of women can’t cum from sex anyways, the best thing you can do after you slip up is go down on her, as I said before, she might even enjoy oral sex more than penetrative sex. And, if you read my article on how to eat pussy, and you practice the technique, you can give her a mindblowing orgasm with your mouth. And believe me, if you can do that, she will have forgotten all about your temporary slip up.
And then, after you’ve both relaxed for a bit and cuddled, you can go at it again in round 2, at which point you should be able to last as long as you need.
I’m 100% confident that when you put all the above techniques together, and you put in the work and practice, I that you’ll able to solve premature ejaculation for good. So put the techniques to good use and make premature ejaculation a distant memory like I have.
Lastly, if you want to learn how to take your sex game and sexual confidence check out the following resources:
- How To Get More Sex (What Actually Works)
- How To Transmute Your Sexual Energy: Ejaculation, Energy, Tantra, NO FAP, NO PMO, Sex, Levels, Expectations
- How To Have Sex: Learn How To Fuck Like A Rockstar And Become A Beast In Bed
- How To Develop Your Dating Gameplan Part 4: Your Relationship Gameplan/Casual Sex Vs. Polyamory Vs. Monogamy Vs. Prostitutes Vs. Celibacy
- How To Conquer Sexual Frustration
- How To Eat Pussy: How To Make Her Cum Consistently
- Everything You Need To Know About Penis Size (Does Size Matter?)
- Yohimbine Review: How To Become Beast In Bed With Yohimbine
- How To Give Her A Rimjob Orgasm
- How To Use Tantric Sex Techniques To Generate Bliss States
- Fleshlight Review: How To Use The Fleshlight To Increase Your Sexual Stamina
- How To Get Harder Erections With Kegel Exercises
- How To Have Non-Ejaculatory, Insanely Powerful, Male Multiple Orgasms
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