How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back (And Why You Shouldn’t Do It)

If you’re reading this, chances are, you’ve found yourself in a situation where you’re hurting over a girl, and you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back.

And that’s ok.

Every man has been there, whether he admits it or not.

And I’m not talking about high school puppy love. Even Elon Musk, the man who wants to put us on Mars, could barely drag himself to a press conference for his vision on the future of human civilization… because of a breakup.

And his pain was so deep, that even in his position, and with his PR training, he couldn’t help but express his feelings to the entire world.

The truth is at least 50% of a most men’s problems are about women, and that’s being conservative. Unfortunately though, we don’t have the social support system that women have. You can’t cry on your friend’s shoulder or go back home and have mom take care of you. And the person you want to talk things over with is the one who broke your heart.

So all you want is to get that girl back and everything will be alright with the world again…

or so you think.


Here is the only way to get your ex girlfriend back:

Take your current girlfriend breakup with her, and come back to her tomorrow and tell her you made a mistake. And even then it’s not a guarantee.

The truth is, the only time you can get a girl back is:

  1. When you broke up with her
  2. You get her back in the window where she still has feelings for you (not after she’s over you)
  3. You haven’t offended her pride too much during the break up

And even then, if you can get her back, I don’t recommend it. Because with mathematical precision, the problems you had with her before the breakup, will be the problems you have again in the future. Good relationships aren’t on again off again, if you broke up with her, there was a good reason for it.

But chances are you’re not reading this because you dumped your girl and you regret your decision. There’s a 99.9% chance that she dumped you, and in 99.9% of cases, there is no getting her back. Just like there is no getting out of the friendzone.

Women inherently hate conflict. Which means that it took a lot for her to breakup with you in the first place. Which means her heart wasn’t in it months if not years before she actually pulled the trigger.

The harsh truth is she lost attraction for you and in 90% of cases that attraction isn’t coming back. And she probably lost attraction for you because you put her above you on a pedestal.

And maybe you got needy, and jealous.

Or clingy and overly attached.

Instead of putting yourself and your mission first.

That explains most breakups.

In 10% of cases it was because you we’re too “alpha”. Despite what many “PUA’s” will tell you, you can lose a girl for being too “alpha”. That means too distant and too dominant. Or she catches you cheating. Or you only do things that keep her attracted to you and neglect her emotional needs entirely. With that said, you have a better chance of getting her back than if she lost attraction for you. But again, the same problems will come up with mathematical certainty. And you come back at a much worse position than you did before the breakup.

So in summary:

  1. You can get your girlfriend back if you dumped her but you shouldn’t
  2. You might be able to get her back if she dumped you for being to “alpha” but it’s a mistake
  3. You will never get her back when she dumped you out of lack of attraction
  4. Getting back together for any reason is always a mistake, ALWAYS

Here’s what you should do, move on. Delete the pictures, throw out the cards and the presents, and put her in your rear view. Learn from your mistakes and make your next move your best move. And lastly, check out the following resources to help you get over her and avoid making the same mistakes again in the future


  1. How To Get Over A Girl
  2. Girlfriend Series Part 1: How To Find The Right Girl
  3. Girlfriend Series Part 2: Moving In Together
  4. Girlfriend Series Part 3: How To Get Over A Breakup
  5. The 7 Biggest Mistakes Men Make With Women (And How To Avoid Them)
  6. How To Develop Your Dating Gameplan Part 1: Player Vs. Provider Game
  7. How To Develop Your Dating Gameplan Part 2: Adapting Your Gameplan To The Situation
  8. How To Develop Your Dating Gameplan Part 3: How To Execute Your Gameplan
  9. How To Develop Your Dating Gameplan Part 4: Your Relationship Gameplan/Casual Sex Vs. Polyamory Vs. Monogamy Vs. Prostitutes Vs. Celibacy
  10. How To Develop Your Dating Gameplan Part 5: Gameplan Models, My Gameplan, Conclusion
  1. Hey Will,

    You’ve been making mostly great content all round, but isn’t it a bit self contradictory of you to make this post?

    Previously you were saying that after a breakup or anything negative with a girl its best that you simply move on (How to get over a girl e.g. ). Wouldn’t this just be adding unneeded negativity to your life, time wasting, or repeating these problems all over again?

    Or is this like an objective guide at how it may be possible for the desperate? Because for me, i’d just say to any girl i was into if they for some reason became into me, the good old ‘Gone With the Wind’ maxim (Good movie all around, a Hollywood classic absolutely worth your time, requires a bit of patience though), “Frankly my dear, i don’t give a damn”.

  2. Never mind lol, i realized that this is a cleverly layed out guide where the end point is that the only true way to solve your problems is to permanently move on. Realized that i forgot to read the whole thing to the very end.

  3. When I saw the title, I was like WTF for a couple of seconds, but then instantly I realised it must be a clickbait. How? I remember “How to get out of friendzone” :D Nice one, Will – like how you ridicule this 100% blue pill BS every once in a while!

  4. You publish a lot of good things, but this is pure BS, sorry! I respect what you decide for yourself and if you didn’t change and continually had the same issues getting back with her, that’s your problem. How on earth are you in a position to advise if or not somebody should get back to his ex. That’s a very personal decision and every break-up is different. BTW chances are actually quite good getting back with the ex, you should really do your homework and learn something about human dynamics which is much more complex than you think. You have to forget about the typical PUA nonsense.

  5. Dan, what do you mean by doing your homework? Isn’t it compromising who you actually are in order to keep the relationship? Where’s the dignity?

    Human dynamics is actually really simple – people delude themselves trying to make it complex, because it’s too hard for them to face the truth – especially in the case of a breakup.

    Ps. It doesn’t have to do anything with PUA – you confuse ideas, man

  6. Thanks for your initial compliment, I appreciate it. As for the rest of your comment, I’m speaking from experience here on getting back with my ex in the past, all my personal observations of my social circle for the last 20 years,all the crowsourced information from forums, as well as all the readers I’ve spoken with since 2012. But is only my opinion, like everything else on this site, and the position I’m in is one of authority as this is an authority site. With that said, I’m only an authority if the reader chooses to see me as one. And you’re welcome to get back with your ex if you want to, but my advice for my reader is not to do it.

  7. Thanks Mateusz, and you’re right, it’s clickbait, just like how to get out of the friendzone. I’m trying to convince the 40,000 or so guys who search for getting their ex back every month on why it’s usually not possible and never a good idea.

  8. Hey Mark, I’ll disregard this comment, in reference to the one you left after it where you said

    “Never mind lol, i realized that this is a cleverly layed out guide where the end point is that the only true way to solve your problems is to permanently move on. Realized that i forgot to read the whole thing to the very end.”

    Which is exactly right

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