The Definitive Definition Of Game And Why You Should Be A Player Not A Pickup Artist

The Pick Up Artist community as it stands today was started with the concept that any guy, no matter how creepy looking, could land the girl of his dreams through conversational hypnosis. As time went on guys became disillusioned with this style and looked to structured social game as the answer.

Eventually guys got tired of spitting corny openers and memorizing long routines and moved on towards a more natural style based on emulating players who PUA’s call “naturals”,  meaning guys who are naturally good with women.

Be A Player

Through all these evolutions though the faulty foundation the community was built on remained intact, that guys could get hot women without being good looking themselves. This, despite the widespread knowledge of evolutionary psychology in the pickup artist community, guys still believed that genetics could be overcome by game.That with enough game you could get girls out of your league.

With no accountability, metrics, ratios or any way to track success outside of the dating gurus word, by the late 2000’s many former believers became disillusioned with the dating industry.

Sites like the now defunct Puahate sprung up with thousands of guys who got burned by shady dating coaches trolling the seduction industry. At the same time, guys like Sleazy, who many would call a game denialist, came along saying game is almost all looks and you only need minimal game to get women.

Needless to say a lot of dating coaches didn’t like the idea, when you have $4000 bootcamps riding on the idea that looks don’t matter, you don’t want someone going around fucking up your business model.

So the question goes, is there a bridge between the game denialists who say that looks are everything and the dating coaches who say that game is everything? There is, the truth is somewhere in between. The true definition of game is simple; game is the means to obtain and retain women in your league.  

Game, at its core, is just sales and customer service. Despite what every sales book tells you, selling is 90% product. You’re a salesman, the product is you, your demand is based on your sexual market value, if you have a shit product no one will want you no matter how good your game is.

On the other hand, without game, you won’t even be able to order girls off Tinder. To get hot women you need value and game, not either or, that’s why there are so few legitimate players. Despite what pua’s say, attraction can’t be created it can only amplified.

Game is important but it can’t perform miracles. You can have great game but you still have to play in your league. Just like a 14 year old junior high basketball player can have great game in his league but can’t compete in the NBA.

You can be 80 years old and the most pimping motherfucker in the nursing home but you are not getting that hot 20 year old no matter how good your game is. My game allows me to get women but my value is the limiting factor, my ticket to play, without my value I’d be denied entry and have to play in a lower league.

The opposite is also true, you can be a good looking, wealthy, successful guy but with no game, you’re still going home to jerk off to Bangbros in your Herman Miller Aeron. Being good looking and well dressed will not automatically get you women, you can’t just walk into a date and take a shit on the floor and expect to take a girl home with you because you’re good looking.

There is a structure to picking up and keeping women that you have to learn. You can’t be needy and retain women. You can’t be a pussy and have women respect you. Having game is important, it’s just not as important as dating coaches want you to believe it is. It’s also not a question of looks vs. game, you need both, women are hypergamous and only want to fuck the best, if you’re not in the top 20% you’re invisible.

The term game in its original form comes from the black underworld. Until recently black men weren’t allowed to earn an honest living and had to survive by any means necessary. To get the things he wanted the black man had to play for them, and to win he had to play by the book, an oral traditional passed down from successful hustlers.

With it came an outlaw mentality, of not wanting to live like a square. A man who played by the book was said to have tight game, a man who didn’t was said to be leaking game. Game is any type of hustle that isn’t a square job, dope dealing, conning, pimping, all are considered games.

Pimps have the best game of all the hustlers because they can get women to sell for them what every other man has to pay for, pussy. To break things down even further, when it comes to dealing with women there are three types of men, pimps, who get money and ownership of prostitutes, macks, who get money, favors, gifts and sex from women, and players, who get pussy without paying for it.

With the rise of hip hop you had guys like UGK, Pimp C and Too Short blasting game to the masses in the late 90’s and the label eventually went mainstream with white guys picking up the idea of becoming a player.

Since high school being a player was always the thing to be for me. I watched girls talk about players as assholes or dicks but they always got girls and always got respect. That was the guy I wanted to be so I watched what the older guys did and emulated them. I went from being the cute little brother to being a legitimate sexual option, it also helped that I grew 6 inches in the summer of grade 11. Since then I’ve considered myself a player.

I first heard about the seduction community 8 years ago when a coworker told me about “The Game” by Neil Strauss. I was riveted, I couldn’t believe there were other guys out there with more in depth knowledge of social interactions then I had.

Until then I naively thought I was the only person who analyzed social interactions so ruthlessly. I didn’t believe for a second that looks didn’t matter but I knew these guys were on a different level analysis wise. I eventually discarded the book as mostly hype and shitty writing but the community I found at Pua Zone (specifically fast seduction in its former incarnation) offered me the crowdsourced experience of thousands of men to absorb.

I devoured it like a rabid dog and put my game on steroids. I think there are some great guys to learn from in the pick up community like Blackdragon, but despite all the value I’ve got from the community I’ve always considered myself a player and never wanted to be a pickup artist.

The difference between a player and a pickup artist is a subtle difference but an important one. A player prides himself on getting laid by women, a pick up artist prides himself on talking to women. A player realizes that women are attracted to your value and game is an extension of that. A pua views game as the great equalizer and value an undefined factor. A player lives the life 24/7. A pick up artist puts on his peacock clothes and fake persona to go out “gaming”.

A lot of guys still think a pick up artist is something to aspire to. In reality, no one gives a fuck how good you are at cold approach pickup except a handful of guys on the internet. In fact, thanks to Mystery’s corny ass VH1 show, girls think pick up artists are losers.

A player understands his sexual market value determines 90% of his success in cold approach pickup. A pickup artist values himself solely on his cold approach pick up skills and looks down on guys who “rely on their looks”. The problem with this logic is that you can’t separate yourself from your looks, you can’t put someone else’s head on your body, you can’t turn off your looks and just use your game.

The problem with pickup artists is that they’ve turned pickup into an art. Cold approach is the means not the end and is just a small part of having gameGame extends well beyond getting a phone number and a quick lay. Game is knowing how to overcome objections like LMR and ASD.

Game is not spam approaching your extended circle and burning down your social bridges. Game is not sweating rejection. Game is knowing how to manage a harem. Game is knowing when to tease a girl and when to apologize for going too far. Game is controlling your emotions and always selling the best position for you. Game is understanding a woman better than she understands herself.

A pick up artist prides himself on nightclub cold approach skills when if you truly want to bang club skanks, the smartest thing to do is build a social circle around getting these women or become a promoter. Trying to be the best at cold approach pickup is like like trying to be the best at the stationary bike.

The stationary bike is my means for having good cardio, if I never had to do another HIT session on the bike I wouldn’t. In the same way I would never do another cold approach if I could have an abundance of women without having to harass girls on the street. I don’t enjoy the challenge, challenge is overrated, I like to dominate things that are easy.

No one, outside a small handful of guys on the internet cares about how good my cold approach pickup game is, my family doesn’t care, my blue pill friends don’t care and any girl I date doesn’t want to hear about what a rake I am. Compare that to business success and everyone cares, every person on the planet respects a successful businessman.

If you’re going to devote yourself to something fully, devote yourself to your mission and develop your value around that.

Cold approach pickup is work, I know I have to approach 15 girls to get laid, in the same way in sales I knew I had to make 200 cold calls to get a deal. I would never do another cold approach again if I didn’t have to because cold approaching is just the means to an end for me. It’s the grunt work of my part time job as a player. Cold approach pickup is just the cost of doing business.

The secret to getting women is to build your value, refine your game through trial and error and give it time, real personal change takes years. Be a player not a pickup artist and don’t worry about what guys on the internet think. Live a well rounded life and don’t focus all your time picking up girls.

Build your value for yourself first and the girls will come. Take what’s useful from the pickup community but don’t let the mentality consume you. Being a player doesn’t mean you need to have a harem. You can have a girlfriend or a wife, the difference is you recognize game, accept the nature of it, and recognize that the game doesn’t stop. You’ll have good days and bad days, don’t get discouraged, just keep going, 90% of success is just showing up every day.

  1. Great article, I am currently 19 years old. I have suppressed my blue pills intentions in the last 5 years. I truly appreciate the content you put out like the rest of the manosphere members. I would just like to let you know that you are changing young men’s lives around the world! for that I thank you!

  2. Great article Will! There needs to be more of the same, so men can realize the myths about the dating world they think they know. Well written and looking forward to the next.


  3. Great article Will!

    I like what you bring, your not full of shit like most out there!

    I agree with you, this entire PUA thing is way overrated. I believe it is good for younger guy to read or listen about it, simply to gain some general knowledge about women and dating but after that, the best thing you can do is to work on yourself, to become the best you can be. Landing a 10 is about “sexual market value”, like you said, the girl will not go out and have sex with a guy’s lower than her value. She can be fooled for a night, but it will never stick! So get you shit together and become the best you can be at everything, including social skills, but don’t focus on woman only…. The day YOU will be a 10, that day the 10 will run after you.

  4. Thanks brother. I try and keep everything truthful, its important guys have their expectations managed when it comes to self improvement.

    Absolutely agree, girls fuck guys in the same value range. Exactly, the end game is making yourself a 10, money, status, positivity, style, fitness, dominance, everything.

  5. Good article Will,

    I just happened to stumble across your site from boytoystory.

    I’m actually working on a blog myself now. Lots of stuff written and some videos shot. I just need to figure out wordpress now haha.

    I’m dead against pickup too. I think Jabba may be the only “London daygame spam approacher” that actually gets laid.

    I’m 29 and I KNOW with 100% certainty that the women I’ve slept with in the last year would NEVER screw Krauser, Tom Torero, Yad or any of those other London guys.

    You’re right too, the “ugly” pickup guys get mad at guys using “bad game” and “relying on looks”

  6. Thanks Mitchel. Glad to hear it, always good to have more legit blogs in our niche. Steve’s stuff is great, true player.You’re right, Its unfortunate how selective women are with looks, its a huge myth that women care less about looks than men when the opposite is actually true. WordPress is a bitch the first few weeks but once you get the hang of it you’re good, just make sure to get the w3 total cache, yoast seo and akismet plugins, they’re free except for akismet which is $5 a month. Shoot me a link once you get your blog up and I’ll stop by.

  7. Will do Will.

    Not 100% sure it’s appealing to your type of readers?

    Even though I’ve had a wild sex life since I moved in the middle of June (11 new women since middle of June), I not mentioning getting laid at all on the website.

    I’m also not swearing on it either. It’s mainly fitness advice (real attraction builder) and basic dating advice. I think it’ll help so many guys out. I have a bunch of infield “pickup” videos. I really believe looking good+being able=getting hot women.

    As soon as I dropped the “game” I started tearing it up. I’m not even kidding a girl I had on the go this summer, I met her at a grocery store and we talked about we were both in Orlando in March on vacation. “Game wise” it was probably terrible lol. Obviously it was mutual attraction!

  8. BTW, Orlando was the easiest place I have ever picked up in my life. Being tall, white, good style and in shape will get you mad pussy there,

    I see you’re a fellow Canadian too. I live in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island.

  9. Cool man, I’m a Toronto guy. I’ll have to check out Florida at some point, and ya being tall, white and built you can pickup anywhere in the world. As far as your blog goes its all good, I post a lot of dating stuff because its what the market wants but my focus in life is my value, business, gym, motivation, style, mood management, girls are just a bonus.

  10. Well put.

    Being on the Interwebs in vaguely girl-centric writing automatically puts you in the category of manosphere or pickup or whatever the niche term for no-you-don’t-get-it. So many dudes misaligning themselves to manage some latent childhood abandonment issues, or closeted homosexual urges, or just need for ego validation. They ain’t no playas, son!

  11. Thanks Jake,

    I would agree, I think at the heart of it is that its not about learning game as a hobby like some guys think, game is like nature, there are rules to it and its amoral. With that said it doesn’t mean that you can’t play with ethics and honesty, but you can’t sit on the sidelines and the reason to play is the enjoyment of women, not for other guys validation.

    Great site btw!

  12. Great article.

    “The secret to getting women is to build your value, refine your game through trial and error and give it time, real personal change takes years. Be a player not a pickup artist and don’t worry about what guys on the internet think. Live a well rounded life and don’t focus all your time picking up girls. Build your value for yourself first and the girls will come.”

  13. I understand this but what if you are ugly as shit by birth what do you do then you have no value so should i not try because most girls are repulsed by me

  14. You don’t have no value, you just have low value. The first thing you need to do is manage your expectations, the zero to hero narrative that pua’s isn’t possible, but zero to decent is. Next you have to get your style razor sharp (check my guide) and your fitness top notch (check articles). You might have been dealt a shitty hand but your job is to play the hell out of that hand, to max out every single factor you can.

    Then you need to get your mission (read article) in life in order so you have a primary purpose in your life and money coming in, then you won’t really give a fuck what some dumb little girl thinks about you. Next up is approaching girls during the day, building up a social circle or online. Fast sex and playboy game is not your friend, that’s only worthwhile for guys who are at least average.

    Your goal should be getting a semi-cute girlfriend. That to me is a reasonable goal, I’ve seen this in person with Qlue from the pua-zone forums, he was a super hard case and last time I saw him he had a cute little girlfriend he picked up during the day that he was travelling Europe with. It just took him about three years to get to that point.

    I’m sure its discouraging but you gotta get your mind right and get focused on all fronts. Don’t end up like those guys on that hater forum that shall not be named.

  15. Game recognizes game, and you sir have Game. You are like taking my favorite Gurus ” David X, Player Supreme, The Kidd , King Flex, Chris (GLL), Chase Amante and Corey Wayne ” all in one person. I thought I knew it all and as I read your site, I discover that there is no such thing as enough information.

    Keep up the work brother.

  16. Hi, Will.

    I’ve read a lot of your articles and have a lot of pleasant nights for which I have to thank you!

    I consider it a life-changing fortune to have stumbled on your website where you share your rich experience and vast knowledge in this field. Could you share some advise?

    People consider me a good looking guy, a solid 8-9 out of 10 per my peers’ opinion. I had extensive education and am enjoying a very successful career by my circle’s standard. However, I am extremely shy and at one point even suffered from erectile dysfunction for a good decade because of it (and I’m barely 27). I am never in tune with other people’s feelings and only had one failed relationship in my life. People find me kind and thoughtful, but extremely stiff and emotionally distant – something that I’ve tried to remedy for years with very little success.

    You can say my gene is geared for logic a little too much. When I found your website I applied your techniques and landed consistent one-night-stands, something I am truly thankful for. And I would like to expand that to finally land a committed, happy relationship.

    This girl I like right now is an old friend, with whom I had a very rocky relationship. She is herself dysfunctional and never had a relationship since high school despite her bombshell look. She has a strong liking for “bad boys”, a vibe that I do not know how to produce, nor whether its a good idea to do so.

    Her affection or just “pussy” means everything to me, not just because of how I feel for her, but also for my identity as a whole man. Have you ever felt this way? If you were in my situation, how would you accomplish this?

  17. Hi John,

    The best thing you can do is try and start living with your heart and your cock. Your intellect controls way too much of your persona. This would be great if we we’re purely rational creatures but we’re tribal animals. Woman are attracted to alpha males who can make them feel strong emotions. You need to try and become that as much as you can.

  18. Word like Too $hort said pimpin it easy but some mofos have to do it shit I grew up listening to uncle Luke,uncle al,pimp c,ugk,e-40,8-ball & Mjg,Snoop dogg and so on learned a lot of shit about that stuff also use to watch a lot of don the”magic”jaun.

    Being a player is fun and reading women minds/body language etc.

    Keep on stutin Will;)

  19. Man… great article.

    I would love to hear you talk about the “emotionless” woman and how to handle them. This is the new norm with women and it changes the game completely. They will drive you f’en crazy.

  20. Thank you, and my advice for all women with bad attitude is to get rid of them, difficult women always remain difficult, you want a woman who adds happiness and light to your life, this is the most important thing, way more important than looks.

  21. Hey Will ,
    I have been following your videos on YouTube and now finally purchasing the book ” how to sell” . Amazing content and outstanding techniques .

    Another question I have here is that you talked about “game” and how it’s important for every man to get women for relationships and getting laid . Where can I get any piece you have written or recommend in learning the game ?

    I think of myself a fairly attractive man with a good physique and height but after meeting girl the first time , they don’t seem to respond the way I want them too . It Takes a long time to close the deal and that’s frustrating .

    Anything information on game will be beneficial .

  22. Thanks Amin, I really appreciate your purchase, and apologize for my late reply to your comment.

    My advice is to go to my women section and read every single article and watch every video. There is enough content there to keep you busy for weeks, just soak it all in and put it into practice. Also, recognize that most women are timewasters, girls fucking around and wasting your time is what is supposed to happen, that is the life of a player my man.

  23. Will, your dating advice really is the best I’ve seen out there. Going through your archives again and taking notes. The quality and depth is unmatched. Thank you, brother.

Your email address will not be published.