How To Avoid Toxic Women Part 1: 49 Red Flags

When I did the video on how to get over a girl I had a lot of questions from guys on how to avoid bringing the wrong woman into your life so in response I wanted to break down for you the exact traits and behaviors you should avoid in the women you date.

I define the type of woman you want to avoid dating, not because she’s a bad person per say, but because she’s going to be toxic to you in a relationship. In short, a toxic woman is the type of woman that will bring pain into your life, whereas a good woman will make your life better.

If you’re used to the player lifestyle, and you’re having fun getting laid on tinder it might not seem like a big deal because your life is all fun and games. But no mistake it’s serious business, and you will fall for a girl at some point, and the second you start thinking your bigger than the game is when disaster strikes. Pride comes before the fall and you need to accept the fact that bringing the wrong woman close to you is playing with fire and you will get burned.

I’ve talked with many readers who’ve been pushed to the brink of suicide over a girl, let alone the millions of guys a year who marry the wrong woman and get raped in a divorce.

If you want to see what a toxic woman looks like and what she can do to a strong, successful guy, look no further than Sharon Stone as Ginger in Martin Scorcese’s brilliant gangster movie Casino. It’s an excellent movie overall and I highly recommend you check it out.

To understand the root cause of a toxic woman, you have to understand how she was raised. In almsot all cases a toxic woman comes from a toxic childhood with either verbal, physical or sexual abuse. Because she was abused she develops low self esteem and that low self esteem manifests itself towards the men in her life.

Happy, high self esteem people don’t seek to hurt others because their happy with their lives and have empathy. Unhappy people are unhappy with their lives and lash out against others for real or imagined slights. Now it’s true that they’ve been dealt a bad card in life, and it’s not fair, but you want to make sure that you’re not putting yourself in the line of fire. Because being a player in the game of life is about taking care of your interests first.

To avoid toxic women you need to know what to look for so I’ve put together a list of 50 red flags. The first 30 are all dealbreakers, meaning if she exhibits even one of those behaviors you have to avoid her. The next 20 aren’t deal breakers on their own, but if you meet a woman who has any more than 3 of those traits, she should be avoided.

Now, once you’ve soaked up the information, it’s important to put it into practice, and the way you do that is by:

  1. Observing her behavior closely
  2. Asking questions

You might be going into the first date thinking about how to get laid, and that’s fine, but just as important is getting to know what type of woman she is by asking her about her life. This is important not just for that woman, but for all future women, because it allows you to build a mental database of women,

The key is not to asking questions directly and not to ask too many questions in a row so that the girls feels like she’s on a job interview. If you want to know about her childhood, it’s not a good idea to ask if she was abused, instead you want to ask how she gets along with her parents. If she says she’s estranged or she hates her dad, then you can gently probe deeper by asking her why that is in an unassuming tone.

Below is the list of 50 red flags you need to watch out for as the audio, video, notes and additional resources on screening and managing your relationships. I suggest you read all the articles if you have the time and interest. Also It might be a good idea to use the Evernote web clipper to save the article to your Evernote and refer back to from time to time.

50 Red Flags

1) She’s violent – either a history of violence or is violent to you, includes throwing things at you
2) She has no girlfriends – any girl without girlfriends is not to be trusted
3) She’s a social justice warrior – all culture warriors are violent, angry, toxic, damaged people
4) She’s a stalker – either stalks you or admits to stalking guys before, stalkers are insane people
5) She’s mentally ill – especially borderline, worked in a psych ward, on prescription meds
6) She’s a drug addict/alcoholic – drug addicts burn down everything they touch
7) She cuts herself or has a history of self abuse
8) She belittles the little people – if she’s rude to the waitress on the first date, she’s a monster
9) She threatens you with false accusations – using threat of a false rape/asssault to manipulate you
10) She disrespects you in public – even once is too much
11) She has a “bitch shield” – “bitch shields” don’t exist, she’s just a bitch
12) She disrepects you on major issues/weak points – hairline, dick size, physical deformity, handicap
13) She hates her father – that hate will manifest against you
14) She intentionally kills the mood in bed – why are you making that face etc./laughs at you
15) She threatens suicide to manipulate you
16) She’s cheating on her boyfriend with you – bad karma and dagnerous for you safety
17) She tells you she’s crazy – believe her
18) She tells you she’s not crazy – normal people don’t have to say this
19) She yells at you – nice girls don’t yell at you
20) Jealousy plotlines – using another guys dick/muscles/money to make you feel insecure
21) She considers herself a princess looking for her prince – delusional spoiled and entitled
22) She’s obesessed with money and status – materialists are toxic by nature, no exception
23) She breaks rapport constantly – nice people avoid breaking rapport because they have empathy
24) She’s arrogant – Saying “you should.”/Giving you unsolicited advice
25) She makes you feel like less of a man – she should make you feel like more of a man
26) She lies about major things – lay count, being married, 2 cell phones, having a boyfriend etc.
27) She’s dramatic – Blows up your phone/turns small things into big arguments/poor emotional control
28) She can’t except being treated well – definitive sign of low self esteem
29) She demands you do things for her – bring me my earrings, drive me here etc.
30) She flirts with guys in front of you – major disrepect
31) She never admits she’s wrong
32) She doesn’t offer value – Doesn’t thank you for picking her up/buying her coffee
33) She constantly complains -negativity is toxic
34) She doesn’t take repsonsibility and blames you – “why are you being so mean to me?”
35) She’s entitled – she believes that all she needs to do is have a pussy
36) Your friends don’t like her – if all your friends hate her, there is something wrong with her
37) She goes through your phone without your permission
38) She constantly distrusts you – calling you a liar, not believing where you are
39) She’s sexually selfish – doesn’t care about your orgasm, demands you fuck her in certain way
40) She’s Intentionally annoying – flicking ice cubes at you, busting your balls
41) She tells you shes a heartbreaker – means not only is she manipulative, but she’s proud of it
42) She’s promiscous – fine for casual, but not good for a girlriend
43) She’s needy – this equals constant texting and reassurance of your commitment
44) She pouts when she doesn’t get her way– means she’s a child emotionally, and will give you drama
45) She tells you she’s a strong, independent, woman – strong women don’t have to say this
46) Doesn’t respect your boundaries – can’t except that you need your space
47) She’s sarcastic – sarcasm is thinly veiled anger, sarcastic people are angry people
48) She was abused as a child – not her fault, and not always a red flag, but something to watch for
49) She likes being degrade during sex – spit on/choked/calle a whore, usually means low self esteem

Additional resources

  1. You should do a piece on seduction. How to escalate when back at your pad. Sit next to her etc? Especially when unsure if she dtf – Maybe how it usually goes for you – cheers

  2. Hey Will,
    I really need some help. I found a girl that I’m really into and I met her through a friend.

    At a party he took me aside and gave me her number, said I should ask her out on a date. I asked “you sure you’re not into her?” and he reassured me, “no way man I’ve got (xyz) girl at work”. He really wanted me and this girl to go out.

    A few days later that girl at work wasn’t interested in him and when I mention the one who’s number he gave me he gets really quiet. It seems like he changed his mind and is regretting giving me her number.

    I’m considering asking this girl out without telling him, but I’m not sure how that will go, or if she is even interested. She seems like the type of girl that takes time.

    Another option would be to wait for another social gathering where I see her in person, but I’m not sure If my friend will want us both in the same place anymore.

    What do you think I should do?


  3. I would avoid it, because it sounds like your friend is into her, and your friends come first. If you do want to take her out then ask him if he’s cool with it, and tell him it’s totally cool if he’s not.

  4. psycho analyze this one.

    wants to fuck even though she and her husband are trying to get pregnant. Knows I have vasectomy.

    Totally no emotion.
    zero empathy and will tell you.
    Doesn’t like to be touched.
    Hates any drama.

  5. Extremely intelligent
    Totally hot
    great conversation
    I have a feeling she is a ruthless slut who just loves to fuck.
    very difficult to get away from this one but I knew you were going to say that. Damn it.

  6. i love your site and this video is also very good, but i’m sorry the way you look in this video would have driven me away if i hadn’t known your site already…

  7. If you’d read his business articles you’d know the proper way to criticize.
    It’s called the shit sandwich.
    PS your a pimp will

  8. Thank you man, you’ve got it exactly, most crticism is not constructive, constructive being something said delicately to someone you care about, that’s in their best interest. Most criticism is thinly veiled aggresion.

  9. Yep, remember health, wealth, lifestyle then relationships, at least until you have a family. And sex is just a small part of relationships, no matter how good, it’s only a few hours a week compared to all the other potential sources of happiness.

  10. Thats what I needed to hear. I had another one this weekend that was a total manipulator… just wanted to see if she could get what she wanted. When I gave it, she withdrew. Then apologizes for being a “child”. It’s nice to just walk away from drop dead gorgeous women, knowing you are walking away from a train wreck.

  11. Could you throw out some names that we’d all recognise?
    I think Hillary Clinton is one.

  12. New to game, met this woman been seeing her for 8 weeks. Im confused about somethings. I would appreciate some advice. This woman is 29, she is bisexual, she wants to remain friends with her exs despite me telling her otherwise. She went to sex clubs before she met me with her ex and her fiance(both of whom are also bi and in an open relationship). I found all this a few days ago. She also told me she loves talking with strangers and that is something she cannot stop doing as it is friendly. She said in order to help me build trust she will stop meeting her exs for a little while but this was after i threatened to leave her. To be honest, i dont want a girl who does these kind of things and even after we are in a relationship, i have to specifically point these things out to her. But since im new im confused and maybe this is how things are and im being backwards. And that men these days are suppose to be fine with all this stuff as it wouldnt be “alpha” to feel jealous or insecure about it. I personally believed that a man should have clear boundaries about what his girlfriend should or shouldnt be doing if she respects a ltr with him but after reading so much stuff on how it is not attractive to place boundaries ive gotten really confused. I would really appreciate your advice, on if i should next this girl and does she have enough redflags and why she insists on staying friends with her ex if she wants to be with me and whether it is good in relationships to place such boundaries?

  13. Def no on a relationship with this girl. Something casual, sure, assuming she’s easy to be with, but girlfriend, absolutely not. Like most guys it sounds like you want a sweet, loyal girlfriend, so screen for that when it comes to a more serious relationship.

  14. I proposed a casual relationship to her to which she said no and she cant accept. And i cant accept being in a serious relationship with her. So it is over. Thank you for your articles my friend, they really help us guys who are naive to how western women are.

  15. I know a bitch that has like 25 of theese qualities problem is i have to c her everyday cuz we work together and were kinda starting something but i can c the signs clearly how do i get out of it??????

  16. Hey Will,

    Correct me if I’m wrong but I think the order in the video and the article aren’t aligned. If you could also put the time next to each point when you start taking about it, it would be really useful. Peace!

  17. Nice article, Will!
    On point about “She lies on major things”, you mention lay count. However many, if not most, girls are not honest about their sexual past. With that on mind, how important do you think that is as an indicator of a girl’s trustworthiness? Would you reject her as girlfriend material if you find out that she lies about that?

  18. She is a 10+, she is like the playboy playmate of my country, all over the internet, we have been together for over a year… its so intense and addictive but she is violent, breaks my stuff, attacks me, looses it over random shit… there has been some positive change and I keep on coming back but it is wearing me down… is there a way to stay with her without going nuts?

  19. Really happy i found this thread. It says if she has Just 1 of the first 30 to stay away from her? I am dating a girl with 20 of the first 30!. I keep having patience thinking i need to be the bigger person and to help her. But man i need to run away. Thing is i ALWAYS seem to attract girls like this always!!! Im like a red flagged chick magnet.

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