How To Win An Argument
Arguments are negative and fuck up your happiness. And since happiness is your primary priority you should avoid getting into arguments. Because people don’t argue over points, they just pretend to, they really argue over pride. Because no one likes being contradicted and everyone takes it personally.
The biggest social sin is breaking rapport, when you break rapport you convey that shitting something out of your mouth is more important than the respect of the person you’re talking to. Breaking rapport is hands down the best way to get people to dislike you.
If you want to be charming, and live life on a higher level, you want to make people feel good about themselves. That means avoiding getting in arguments. Sun Tsu said the best way to win a war is to avoid a war in the first place – the same logic applies to arguing. You get nothing from an argument except for resentment and tension. The smart move as a player in the game of life is simply to avoid the argument in the first place.
The best way to avoid arguments is to remove negative people from your life. Negative people love to be negative, that means breaking rapport, disagreeing, playing “devil’s advocate” and offering unsolicited “constructive” criticism. Positive people just want to be happy, have fun and talk about positive things like winning, greatness and all the awesome shit that’s going on in their lives.
When you get rid of negative people you solve 99% of the problem. Occasionally though you’ll have a minor disagreement with a friend. The way to avoid it turning into an argument is just to either ignore the comment or acknowledge that you’re just going to have to agree to disagree.
Unfortunately though, sometimes you might find yourself in a situation where you’re forced to be in the presence of losers. Either as coworkers, or in the course of your business, or when someone who doesn’t know you very well decides to introduce his feminist, progressive friends to you assuming you’re going to be a good boy and censor yourself instead of the truth-telling-thought-criminal that you really are.
In those cases, it’s important to know:
How To Win An Argument
Rules Of Engagement
The rules of engagement are the conditions that need to be met for you to step of your peaceful perch on the pillar of happiness:
- You’re arguing as a last resort because they’ve pushed you past the point of disrespect and you need to regain your honor as a point of pride. This means the pain of staying silent now outweights the pain of causing a scene as the social violator.
- You’re morally right, your opponent is being disrespectul and persistent, and your opponent provoked the argument.
- You know you can win the argument (never fight when you don’t think you can win)
- Define what a win looks like (almost always it’s submission of your opponent and regaining your honor)
- Define your end game, what kind of close you’re going to use (see below) and how the win is going to look.
- Your safety is not in jeopardy, this is the most important rule. Never, ever get into an argument with someone who looks violent or has nothing to lose. A braindead thug with nothing to lose will happily risk going to jail and fuck up your entire mission over an argument at a bar.
HOW TO CLOSE AND ARGUMENT
Once you find yourself in a situation where the rules of engagement have been met and someone has opened an argument against you, it’s your job to close it. You’re a peaceful warrior, and you walk softly, but you also carry a big stick, and sometimes you have to use it.
But not all arguments are created equal and you need a different close for each type of argument. The three key closes are the tease, the professional close, and the hard close.
The tease is for when the girl you’re dating thinks she can say something cute and try to bust through your frame. Since you only spend your time with sweet, submissive girls who like alpha males, this doesn’t happen very often. And when it does, it’s not a big deal.
A quick tease in her direction, said with a playful shit eating grin will nip the argument in the bud, something like: “If I wanted your opinion, I’d tell it to you.” The key to the tease is that it’s done playfully. This defuses the tension and will usually break her state, make her giggle, reinforce your frame, and make her more attracted to you then if you’d taken her seriously and gotten into an argument.
The tease when done playfully, and without malice is a beautiful thing. This is not a “neg”, a neg is an insult, a tease is still a term of endearmeent. When you tease a girl you’re not actually breaking rapport.
The Professional Close
The professional close is the close you use at work, in your own business, or in public when you want to maintain your honor, without becoming the social violator.
In the comments section for my video, How To Stop Other People From Fucking Up Your Life, ywed14 asked suggested: “You should do a piece on how to deal with work place snakes who are always trying to get people fired.”
My advice is to start your own business and I feel sorry for any guy who has to be subjected to colleagues for 50 hours a week talking about sportsball or bridal showers. Some of the worst people I’ve met we’re people I worked with – petty, non-violent, sociopaths like Marni the office manager who smoked a pack a day and ate burger king for breakfast.
The best advice I can give is to avoid all workplace arguments and focus on getting paid and getting the fuck out of the corporate game. But sometimes, to retain your dignity as a man you can’t let things slide. That’s where you have to use the professional close.
The same applies to your own business. Being a benevolent dictator of the walled garden that is RLD, I censor most of the negative comments on my site, but for the sake of instruction, I’ll respond to some negative comments in a professional way because I think other guys can benefit from the back and forth.
Ultimately, I want to keep things positive and lead by example. Because in business you want to present the best version of yourself.
The same applies to social situations. Every couple of years, someone I don’t know will bring a cultural marxist into my reality who decides they want to critique my lifestyle using weaponized Freudian psychology. They see the dudebro in the muscle shirt and backwards hat as an opportunity for virtue signalling using the standard liberal shaming kit, you know the ists:
Any of the tried and true thought crimes that have become the foundation of our degenerate social order. I like to live and let live, but letting someone criticize me in public is not an option. Ultimately though, I’d prefer to avoid having to use a hard close and fuck up everyone’s night.
In these situations you want to go for the professional close, defined by:
- Assuming the position of the reasonable man, with the reasonable argument
- Conveying your reasonable argument in an unassuming tone (iron fist in a velvet glove)
- Getting them to define the terms of their attack (as opposed to letting them use critical theory)
- Casting doubt on their assumptions through unassuming questions
- Redirecting the spotlight of social shame from you back to them
- Box closing them into either acknowledging defeat or embarassing themselves through contradictions
- Giving them a tiny olive branch in return for acknowledging defeat, to allow the conversation to move on to more pleasant topics, to present yourself as magnanimous and level up to those around you
The full example is in depth, I suggest you check out the video, but a quick summary would be – someone who doesn’t know me well brings a group of limp wristed liberals to my table at a bar, assuming I would censor my conversation – I don’t.
Here’s howit plays out in point form (these are just a few examples):
- Girl: Your site/lifestyle/face/whiteness/haircut/backwards hat is misogynistic (my responses below)
- How would you define misogynisitic? (hatred of all women)
- What about my site or my lifestyle makes you think I hate all 3 billion women including my mother and cousins?
- How does helping men become more attractive and better in bed prove that I hate all 3 billion women?
- How does spending the bulk of my time with women, for their sex and affection prove that I hate women?
- If I hated women, wouldn’t I have a site devoted towards avoiding or hurting them?
- I’m surprised, you seem like a tolerant person, but your views seem intolerant of those who disagree with you?
- Don’t you think we’d have moved beyond slut shaming in 2017, against both women and men?
- If women’s sexuality is to be celebrated, who else would they celebrate with if not open minded guys like me?
- Don’t you think it would be better if you could extend that tolerance to me?
- Wouldn’t that make for a happier world and a happier evening?
The look on a girls face when the dudebro annihilates her argument and shames her with her own belief system is priceless. By the time you’re finished she’ll be either dying for that olive branch or moving towards a verbal assault, which you’ll have to handle with a hard close (see below).
These arguments happen very rarely these days, after having agressively controlled my reality, and are almost enjoyable in the sense of watching an intolerant statist hang themselves on their own beliefs, but ultimately I’d rather not even have negative people enter into my happy bubble.
The Hard Close
The hard close is when all other methods have failed. This is where you’ve been pushed past the point of no return. You’re in the red zone, and 100% the social violator. Even though you’re morally right, and you’ve been provoked, you’re going to be seen as the bad guy.
Of course this is a last resort scenario, and happens very rarely to me these days, but sometimes you need to put that pimp hand down. And believe me, it feels better to go hard then to walk away (assuming your safety is not in danger). If some is disrespecting you hard in public, don’t think you’re being the bigger man by walking away, you’re actually being a pussy.
The time for being a bigger man is before the argument starts where you politely offer the olive branch of “let’s agree to disagree.” But when you’ve tried defusing the argument, and you’ve tried the professional close and failed, and you’ve got someone calling you out in public, it’s time to take the gloves off.
- Focused eye contact
- Raising your voice
- Strong verbal commands
- Ad hominem attacks on weak points (nose, weight, ugliness etc.)
- Finishing the argument with a verbal assault (Shut your fucking mouth and sit down)
In one word focused aggression. If you’re fit and masculine and can project a powerful aggressive energy – this is the most powerful argument there is. Immediately the tone of the room changes, everyone gets quiet, and you see the tough talking person in front of you get real quiet when they realized they fucked with the wrong guy. With women you’ll see them get close to tears and with guys you’ll see them start shaking.
Now, the negative ramifications for this type of argument are big and should be avoided if at all possible. You are the social violator, everyone’s night is ruined, and it’s become a lose/lose situation – however you’ve made sure their loss bigger than yours.
This might trouble your inner nice guy, but remember I’m not advocating emotional abuse, or bullying or cruelty – I’m advocating standing up for yourself when someone attacks you, and you’ve tried to diffuse the situation peacefully.
I do my best to be a peaceful, happy, cooperative guy, but occasionally cooperation doesn’t work and you’ve got to use combat to get your point across. And get your point across it does, but you don’t want to hang around to long, maybe 30 seconds to a minute of a shock and awe verbal beatdown before you leave them in your dust.
Again, the hard close is not something you do with someone who looks dangerous or someone drunk/on drugs – basically anyone you think will escalate to a physical confrontation. This isn’t worldstarhiphop, this is a quick, volcanic, verbal beatdown on someone who tried to punk you, before you head home and think about how to make sure you avoid these situations in the future.
- Avoid arguments if at all possible
- Remove negative/argumentative people from your reality
- Try and defuse argument before it happens
- If defusal doesn’t work, consider leaving the situation before argument escalates
- If leaving isn’t an option follow the rules of engagement
- Decide on your close and plot your end game
- Reflect on how to further avoid arguments in the future, especially if arguin is a consistent recurring problem
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