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How To Be A Man: The Definitive Guide To Getting Your Shit Together

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In what remains of western society a young boy no longer learns how to be a man, he learns that man is primitive, a relic, a misogynist, an oppressor of women and a potential rapist.

I, like most rational men and freedom lovers, want women to have all the same rights and freedoms and respect we do. The problem is the feminist narrative and their aggressive anti-male ideology. The attacking and shaming men for their masculinity is poison for young men everywhere.

Being a man means you will have a different life experience than as a woman. That life experience comes with a different set of problems and a different set of solutions, solutions best solved by living life with traditional male values. These values are extremely important for your quality of life, for gaining access to resources, for inspiring others and for fulfilling your mission on earth.

Learning how to be a man is essential to navigating the world as a male and IS something to aspire to. Man throughout history has invented amazing technology, destroyed all competitors to the species, harnessed the forces of nature to serve society and has been stoic in the face of battle.

Manliness today is an imitation, a caricature. GQ and Esquire promote a fantasy lifestyle for men striving to join the ruling class. Lifestyle porn written by experience-free journalists. They promote an idea of a man that’s an abysmal failure to men everywhere.

It’s not important to know what whiskey to order or to have the right watch, or the right moleskin journal, or the right smoking jacket or any other bullshit trappings of the man-fetishists. These accessories are for beta male office drones to play dress up with on the weekend. Being a man is about one thing and one thing only, CHARACTER.

Here’s how to be a man and live life on your terms:

How To Be A Man

1) Be Selfish

Put yourself first because no one else will. Being selfish doesn’t mean being an asshole it just means that your self actualization is your top priority. This is especially important with women, at the end of the day she wants someone to look up to.

An ambitious, purpose-driven man who puts himself on a pedestal will always be the most attractive kind of man to any woman. Being an alpha male means putting yourself first. You can’t take care of others until you’ve taken care of yourself.

2) Have A Mission

What is your purpose in life? If you don’t have an immediate answer to this question you’re not living up to your potential as a man. A man’s life is defined by his actions, by doing, by living, by being part of something greater than himself. A mission is what wakes you up in the morning, it’s what lets you overcome obstacles you never thought you could, it’s what you’re put on this earth to do.

3) Be Assertive

Unless your life is in danger, when someone disrespects you, you need to let them know that their behavior is unacceptable. Politely at first and more forcefully if they continue. “Please don’t speak to me that way” is a good way of reasonably correcting someone, a more forceful way is to raise your voice.

This is extremely important when dealing with women, women only love up and have no respect for doormats. With that said, you should never resort to violence unless your life depends on it, there are too many potential ramifications for an intelligent man to justify fighting outside of a controlled setting like a boxing gym.

4) Be Honorable

Don’t be a scumbag, don’t rip people off in business, don’t underpay your employees. Treat people with respect and don’t fuck people over, that is what snakes do, not men. This doesn’t extend to governments or other things that enslave you.

5) Be Self-Sufficient

Get your shit together. Be organized, eat properly, get up early, dress well, keep your place clean. Nothing disgusts women more than a boy they have to take care of. A woman who nags you to pick up your socks is your mother not your girlfriend. When you’re self-sufficient you will have peace and order in your life.

6) Be Confident

The meaning of confidence is to confide in yourself, trust yourself and project that confidence onto others. That confidence comes from within and manifests itself in a firm handshake, standing up straight, maintaining eye contact and a natural projection of your masculine voice. These behaviors might feel strange at first because you’ve spent your whole life apologizing for your existence through bad body language, being confident means you assert your right to exist, not apologize for it.

7) Be Sincere 

Communicate sincerely: this means telling people what you’re excited about, congratulating someone on their success, telling a woman you think she’s attractive and that you’d like to take her out. Being sarcastic, passive aggressive or unenthusiastic are protection mechanisms for losers not for men. Being sincere means you’re communicating authentically and you’re not afraid of being judged by others.

8) Be Positive 

Control your state. You won’t catch me in a bad mood even if I’m in one because I won’t burden others with my negativity, I know that by acting positive I’ll be able to turn my mood around. Being negative is for people being beaten down by life, for people who accept their situation, not for men.

9) Accept Responsibility

Accept all responsibility for how your life has turned out and the decisions you’ve made. Don’t blame others and accept the responsibility to change what needs to be changed.

10) Apologize When You’re Wrong

On the rare occasion you make a mistake, own up to it with a quick, sincere apology. An apology from an alpha male is worth ten times the groveling of a beta male. A sincere apology is a sign of strength not weakness, a weak person will lie, deny, blame others and only admit guilt when cornered.

11) Don’t Burden Others

Handle your problems yourself, weak and needy people burden others. I’d sooner have a root canal then dump my problems all over my friends. When you burden others people lose respect for you as a man and and no one will want to be around you.

12) Have An Abundance Mentality

Nothing turns women off more than a needy man, being needy means you’re not being self-sufficient, being needy means you’re not content with your life as is. If a girl cancels on you at the last minute, I just work on my business, if a girl cancels indefinitely, I just find another one. There is nothing in your life that can’t be replaced, all you need is air, food and shelter, there’s no need to sacrifice your dignity for the rest.

13) Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway

The only difference between a brave man and a coward is the brave man does what he’s afraid of. If you’re afraid to start that business or ask that girl out, just suck it up, act like a man and do it.

14) Be Congruent

The man you are in secret is the man you are in public. Don’t be a fraud who says one thing and does another.

15) Be Loyal

Be loyal to your friends and your family. Help those that have helped you and help your friends in need, a man never betrays his friends because a real man is a stand up guy.

16) Don’t Be Petty

Being petty is a characteristic of small-minded losers. Let small arguments go, don’t try and get even with someone by being passive aggressive and don’t hold grudges. Either deal with the person by asserting yourself or let it go.

17) Lead By Example

Everything on this blog is based on experience not like some despicable internet marketer who sells you things he knows nothing about. Don’t expect anyone to do what you won’t or can’t. Don’t expect women to respect you when you don’t respect yourself. Lead by example and lead with your actions.

18) Go Against The Grain

Chances are if everyone else is doing it, it’s wrong. Everyone else eats a shitty diet, everyone else works a job they hate, everyone else has an idea for your life plan but the only one that matters is yours. A man takes risks and marches to his own drummer.

19) Don’t Argue

Arguing is a waste of time for small-minded people. I don’t argue because I’m only interested in my opinion. I’m happy to debate a point but an argument is just an emotional battle of ego where people will defend their positions just to save face. Nothing productive comes out of it. The best line for solving a disagreement is “lets just agree to disagree on this one.” If that doesn’t work you can try having a reasonable discussion and if that doesn’t work remove yourself from the situation or remove that person from your house.

20) Be A Gentleman

Be polite to old ladies and waitresses, hold the door for others, hold the elevator for your neighbors. This might sound contradictory to the other things on this blog but a man treats others with respect. With that said don’t be a doormat wining and dining girls with your rent money but if you invite her for coffee, you pay.

21) Be Accountable

Do what you say you’re going to do and be where you say you’re going to be. When I schedule a meeting with someone that is now my plan. I don’t cancel if something better comes up, I don’t cancel if I’m tired, I don’t cancel because it’s too far and I don’t cancel because I don’t want to go. That’s what little girls do because their word means nothing to them, as a man your word should mean everything to you.

22) Don’t Play The Victim

Stop whining, complaining and running that story about how you have bad luck and things are so hard for you. One, no one wants to hear, two it makes you look weak and three it means you’re not properly reframing the situation. Don’t play the victim, play the victor and be out there winning.


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15 Comments

  1. September 12, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    Go Against The Grain! This is my favourite!

    “Everything popular is wrong.” ― Oscar Wilde

    Being a original is so much cooler!

  2. September 12, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    Thanks Chuck, absolutely man, you’ve gotta go your own way

  3. rain
    February 3, 2015 at 6:08 pm

    Its inspiring to read this.

    I typed quite a bit and then deleted it again, because well that was more like another article. There is truth in what you write.

  4. February 3, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    Thanks Rain, I really appreciate it.

  5. Andrew Miles
    March 8, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    These are all excellent guidelines, this is a really nice round-up of worthy traits to pursue.

  6. March 8, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    Thanks brother.

  7. May 16, 2015 at 4:29 am

    “This is extremely important when dealing with women, women only love up and have no respect for doormats. ”

    Agreed. But, shouldn’t women speak with basic courtesy? It’s a different thing they don’t. But, that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing. Just my opinion.

  8. May 16, 2015 at 7:57 am

    For sure, they should definitely have basic courtesy and the ones that don’t should get screened out quick

  9. MasteryOfSprezzatura
    August 27, 2015 at 6:32 pm

    Hi Will, nice post.

    It may take a lifetime to check all the points in the list, but they remain worthy measures to stick to.

    The moleskin part was funny and sad at the same time, in our world few things are off limits to be marketed and manliness is just another item for sale.

    But one would do well to ask the question “whose manliness ideal am I buying?”

  10. August 27, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    Thanks, and ya its a daily battle to live up to and ya don’t buy into some corporations ideal of a man, buy into your own.

  11. John Jones
    June 29, 2016 at 1:41 pm

    Great article RLD. I would also like the put profound emphasis on valuing your seed. So many men indulge in risky sex and impregnate women by mistake quite often and pay tor it. A man’s seed should be heavily valued and we have to be mindful of who we have sex with. In addition to that is learning how to control your sexual urges and sexual appetite. To many men sleep with women that are low tier out of deperation and lack of self control. Lastly is listening. I feel at times to many red pill guys fall into intellectual masterbation and feel they know it all by reading a couple of books. By falling victim to being a know it all you have an inclination of not listening and instead want to get your viewpoints heard. By listening you can enhance and internalize more to strengthen you more as man.

  12. June 29, 2016 at 11:27 pm

    I agree with all those points, especially pregnancy, that’s really the last thing you want to do and fucking girls out of desperation is a terrible look. And as you say it’s always important to keep an open mind and a student mentality.

  13. Vegas
    July 19, 2016 at 2:13 am

    Great article, Can you recommend some good book that right more about being a man or alpha without any PUA bullshit ?

  14. July 19, 2016 at 10:25 am

    Thanks Vegas, I’d recommend reading arnold shwarzenneger’s biography, thats about as alpha as you get, and more importantly he has a positive attitude and is a player in the game of life. I’d also recommend doing Victor Pride’s 30 days of discipline, I’ve heard from a lot of guys that it’s helped them.

  15. Kreso
    March 25, 2017 at 1:31 am

    I was happy when i found this site, you have to little subs on ytb btw. One site i am following is the Art of manliness, and i think the answer is in the middle of this site and that site(if you know what i mean, you have agressive stance, Bret Mckay has little simple nice guy stance).
    The point is, after helping yourself you need to listen your inner voice because sometimes God can try help somebody using you as a tool, gut feeling is everything but we can have very weak feeling for gut feeling( :D).

    6 months ago i was dealing with psyhopatic mother and a psychopathic girlfriend, panick attacks, weed addiction, candida, brain fog, couldnt sleep, no money, no job, tons of vitamin deficits and low testosterone, only had one friend with empathy and only thing that could help me was God Himself, after that things started getting better i realized that God can help if you are willing to admit that you are a bad person, after reading “The book of Job” everything started to make sense… i was crying like little girl.
    God made rules for us so we dont get into a mess.

    After reading this text i think God is on your side but you have to be on his side, like i and everybody who was strugling thru life.

    p.s. you are a legend, man.

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