The Definitive Definition Of Game And Why You Should Be A Player Not A Pickup Artist
The Pick Up Artist community as it stands today was started with the concept that any guy, no matter how creepy looking, could land the girl of his dreams through conversational hypnosis. As time went on guys became disillusioned with this style and looked to structured social game as the answer.
Eventually guys got tired of spitting corny openers and memorizing long routines and moved on towards a more natural style based on emulating players who PUA’s call “naturals”, meaning guys who are naturally good with women.
Through all these evolutions though the faulty foundation the community was built on remained intact, that guys could get hot women without being good looking themselves. This, despite the widespread knowledge of evolutionary psychology in the pickup artist community, guys still believed that genetics could be overcome by game.That with enough game you could get girls out of your league.
With no accountability, metrics, ratios or any way to track success outside of the dating gurus word, by the late 2000’s many former believers became disillusioned with the dating industry.
Sites like the now defunct Puahate sprung up with thousands of guys who got burned by shady dating coaches trolling the seduction industry. At the same time, guys like Sleazy, who many would call a game denialist, came along saying game is almost all looks and you only need minimal game to get women.
Needless to say a lot of dating coaches didn’t like the idea, when you have $4000 bootcamps riding on the idea that looks don’t matter, you don’t want someone going around fucking up your business model.
So the question goes, is there a bridge between the game denialists who say that looks are everything and the dating coaches who say that game is everything? There is, the truth is somewhere in between. The true definition of game is simple; game is the means to obtain and retain women in your league.
Game, at its core, is just sales and customer service. Despite what every sales book tells you, selling is 90% product. You’re a salesman, the product is you, your demand is based on your sexual market value, if you have a shit product no one will want you no matter how good your game is.
On the other hand, without game, you won’t even be able to order girls off Tinder. To get hot women you need value and game, not either or, that’s why there are so few legitimate players. Despite what pua’s say, attraction can’t be created it can only amplified.
Game is important but it can’t perform miracles. You can have great game but you still have to play in your league. Just like a 14 year old junior high basketball player can have great game in his league but can’t compete in the NBA.
You can be 80 years old and the most pimping motherfucker in the nursing home but you are not getting that hot 20 year old no matter how good your game is. My game allows me to get women but my value is the limiting factor, my ticket to play, without my value I’d be denied entry and have to play in a lower league.
The opposite is also true, you can be a good looking, wealthy, successful guy but with no game, you’re still going home to jerk off to Bangbros in your Herman Miller Aeron. Being good looking and well dressed will not automatically get you women, you can’t just walk into a date and take a shit on the floor and expect to take a girl home with you because you’re good looking.
There is a structure to picking up and keeping women that you have to learn. You can’t be needy and retain women. You can’t be a pussy and have women respect you. Having game is important, it’s just not as important as dating coaches want you to believe it is. It’s also not a question of looks vs. game, you need both, women are hypergamous and only want to fuck the best, if you’re not in the top 20% you’re invisible.
The term game in its original form comes from the black underworld. Until recently black men weren’t allowed to earn an honest living and had to survive by any means necessary. To get the things he wanted the black man had to play for them, and to win he had to play by the book, an oral traditional passed down from successful hustlers.
With it came an outlaw mentality, of not wanting to live like a square. A man who played by the book was said to have tight game, a man who didn’t was said to be leaking game. Game is any type of hustle that isn’t a square job, dope dealing, conning, pimping, all are considered games.
Pimps have the best game of all the hustlers because they can get women to sell for them what every other man has to pay for, pussy. To break things down even further, when it comes to dealing with women there are three types of men, pimps, who get money and ownership of prostitutes, macks, who get money, favors, gifts and sex from women, and players, who get pussy without paying for it.
With the rise of hip hop you had guys like UGK, Pimp C and Too Short blasting game to the masses in the late 90’s and the label eventually went mainstream with white guys picking up the idea of becoming a player.
Since high school being a player was always the thing to be for me. I watched girls talk about players as assholes or dicks but they always got girls and always got respect. That was the guy I wanted to be so I watched what the older guys did and emulated them. I went from being the cute little brother to being a legitimate sexual option, it also helped that I grew 6 inches in the summer of grade 11. Since then I’ve considered myself a player.
I first heard about the seduction community 8 years ago when a coworker told me about “The Game” by Neil Strauss. I was riveted, I couldn’t believe there were other guys out there with more in depth knowledge of social interactions then I had.
Until then I naively thought I was the only person who analyzed social interactions so ruthlessly. I didn’t believe for a second that looks didn’t matter but I knew these guys were on a different level analysis wise. I eventually discarded the book as mostly hype and shitty writing but the community I found at Pua Zone (specifically fast seduction in its former incarnation) offered me the crowdsourced experience of thousands of men to absorb.
I devoured it like a rabid dog and put my game on steroids. I think there are some great guys to learn from in the pick up community like Blackdragon, but despite all the value I’ve got from the community I’ve always considered myself a player and never wanted to be a pickup artist.
The difference between a player and a pickup artist is a subtle difference but an important one. A player prides himself on getting laid by women, a pick up artist prides himself on talking to women. A player realizes that women are attracted to your value and game is an extension of that. A pua views game as the great equalizer and value an undefined factor. A player lives the life 24/7. A pick up artist puts on his peacock clothes and fake persona to go out “gaming”.
A lot of guys still think a pick up artist is something to aspire to. In reality, no one gives a fuck how good you are at cold approach pickup except a handful of guys on the internet. In fact, thanks to Mystery’s corny ass VH1 show, girls think pick up artists are losers.
A player understands his sexual market value determines 90% of his success in cold approach pickup. A pickup artist values himself solely on his cold approach pick up skills and looks down on guys who “rely on their looks”. The problem with this logic is that you can’t separate yourself from your looks, you can’t put someone else’s head on your body, you can’t turn off your looks and just use your game.
The problem with pickup artists is that they’ve turned pickup into an art. Cold approach is the means not the end and is just a small part of having game. Game extends well beyond getting a phone number and a quick lay. Game is knowing how to overcome objections like LMR and ASD.
Game is not spam approaching your extended circle and burning down your social bridges. Game is not sweating rejection. Game is knowing how to manage a harem. Game is knowing when to tease a girl and when to apologize for going too far. Game is controlling your emotions and always selling the best position for you. Game is understanding a woman better than she understands herself.
A pick up artist prides himself on nightclub cold approach skills when if you truly want to bang club skanks, the smartest thing to do is build a social circle around getting these women or become a promoter. Trying to be the best at cold approach pickup is like like trying to be the best at the stationary bike.
The stationary bike is my means for having good cardio, if I never had to do another HIT session on the bike I wouldn’t. In the same way I would never do another cold approach if I could have an abundance of women without having to harass girls on the street. I don’t enjoy the challenge, challenge is overrated, I like to dominate things that are easy.
No one, outside a small handful of guys on the internet cares about how good my cold approach pickup game is, my family doesn’t care, my blue pill friends don’t care and any girl I date doesn’t want to hear about what a rake I am. Compare that to business success and everyone cares, every person on the planet respects a successful businessman.
If you’re going to devote yourself to something fully, devote yourself to your mission and develop your value around that.
Cold approach pickup is work, I know I have to approach 15 girls to get laid, in the same way in sales I knew I had to make 200 cold calls to get a deal. I would never do another cold approach again if I didn’t have to because cold approaching is just the means to an end for me. It’s the grunt work of my part time job as a player. Cold approach pickup is just the cost of doing business.
The secret to getting women is to build your value, refine your game through trial and error and give it time, real personal change takes years. Be a player not a pickup artist and don’t worry about what guys on the internet think. Live a well rounded life and don’t focus all your time picking up girls.
Build your value for yourself first and the girls will come. Take what’s useful from the pickup community but don’t let the mentality consume you. Being a player doesn’t mean you need to have a harem. You can have a girlfriend or a wife, the difference is you recognize game, accept the nature of it, and recognize that the game doesn’t stop. You’ll have good days and bad days, don’t get discouraged, just keep going, 90% of success is just showing up every day.
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