How To Develop Your Dating Gameplan Part 2: Adapting Your Gameplan To The Situation
In part 1 of this series we covered player vs. provider game. Understanding whether you’re going to approach women as a player or a provider is important in determining your gameplan, but that’s just step one. To be effective you need to adapt your game to every situation.
You want to know exactly how you’re going to play your hand with every woman you meet in person or online, before you even talk to her or send her a message.
The key factors to consider in every situation are:
- Your timeline to sex
- How you present yourself (player vs. provider game)
- What your next move is (contact info/where you’re going to take her/how fast to escalate)
You should know in advance, exactly how you’re going to play those 3 factors before you even talk to the girl. From how fast you’re going to try to fuck her, to the style of your approach, to whether you’re going to go for her contact info, for a date, or try and take her home straight away.
But that doesn’t mean your gameplan has to be static, you can and should run different game on different girls and play different follow up moves depending on circumstances. And depending on where you are in your life, where you live and what you’re looking for, your gameplan will change over time.
The key is always understanding what the best move is or you
To do that you need to factor in a number of different things:
How To Adapt Your Gameplan To The Situation
A big part of your gameplan comes down to where you are in your life. If you’re 22, and you just moved out of the house and you’re looking to have fun and get your game up, fast dirty sex with a lot of dirty girls might be the best move for you (at least temporarily, I don’t recommend pump and dump as a lifestyle).
As you age though, your gameplan should become somewhat more age appropriate. Now that doesn’t mean you have to go the traditional route and become a provider. But being the 50 year old guy in the club chasing down drunk girls in the club is not the best move.
My gameplan at 34 is still fast speed player game but with more of an emphasis on quality women for MLTRs with the option of a girlfriend, and less of an emphasis on casual sex. I usually try and bring her home on the first date, to show her I’m a man and because my killer instincts kick in, but I’m willing to wait three dates for quality and occasionally five dates if she’s exceptional.
I don’t have much of an interest in casual sex with girls I don’t care about like I did in my 20’s so I try and make sure that the girls I hook up with are people that I like and want to see again. Although I will occasionally indulge in a drunken escapade.
Your schedule is going to determine a good chunk of your gameplan. If you’re grinding hard seven days a week on your business like you should be (at least in the early stages), you’re not going to have time to chase down girls every night at the club.
Your schedule also determines how fast you can convert a girl. If you meet a girl during the day, chances are you won’t be free, and neither will she so an instant lay is usually out of the question. Your schedule is something you need to take into account in determining what the right move is for you in each situation.
If you met her at 3 AM at a sweaty club, taking her to the bathroom, outside or home is the right move. Getting her digits is a complete waste of time because you’ll never see her again.
However, if you meet her at a party through your social circle, and know you’re going to see her again, and you know that there are social consequences for failure, then taking your time is the right move.
You never need to get rejected in your social circle, because there is no need to pull the trigger until you’re sure. You’ll know if she’s into you through her body language, proximity to you at parties and because your friends will tell you. If you’re unsure, it’s usually better to wait until you know what’s up.
Size Of Your City
In my book, How To Get Laid On Tinder, I’ve given you the bible for ultra-fast DTF, big city game. In a big city, with a ton of prospects, you can afford to play aggressively and leave a lot of money on the table in pursuit of efficiency because your dating pool is so large.
That’s not true in a small city however. In a small city you have to play smart game with every prospect, because not only are there potential social consequences for failure, but your dating pool is small. And that means you can’t afford to fuck up the limited amount of good prospects you have.
In a small city, playing medium term or slow game is going to be the better move because you need to:
- Protect your pipeline
- Keep a high conversion rate (you can’t afford to burn through prospects like in big city game)
Your SMV or sexual market value is going to be by far the biggest factor in your gameplan. In my opinion, to be succesful with running player game on hot girls you need to be in the top 15% for your age bracket which is on average 10 years below your age and up (i.e. at 34, my age bracket is girls from 24 to 34).
Since girls can have fast sex so easily, they have a large pool of guys to choose from at any time. And since pure DTF girls are so valuable in the sexual marketplace, it’s easy for them to leverage their sexual availability to fuck outside of their league with good looking guys looking for an easy lay.
If you have good game and a solid SMV you can afford to play fast DTF game. Even if your SMV is average but your game is tight you can still get some fast lays.
However, if your SMV is below average, a fast gameplan might not be your best move. Not everyone has the raw genetic material to be top 15%, so you need to play accordingly while working on maxing out your SMV.
It’s also very important to be realistic. If you’re a five, and you’ve got your first prospect in 4 months, you can’t afford to blow it by playing too aggressive. Even if it means risking getting your time wasted. Playing smart and slowing your gameplan down is your best move.
If your SMV isn’t that high, the girl might not be super attracted to you right away. But with time, you can show her through your confidence and masculinity and emotional intelligence that you have more to offer than what she first thought. Women put a ton of value on emotional support and trust and stability.
Those traits are traditionally considered “beta” in the manosphere, but if you haven’t got laid in a year, you need to do whatever it takes. If it takes a bit of wining and dining to get yourself a girlfriend who’s going to support you and give you consistent sex, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
In fact, you might find yourself in a situation where you’re pulling girls out of your league because women put so much value in trust. It’s definitely in the realm of possibility to be a 6 and pull a 7.5 when you run provider game.
She might not feel the raw attraction to you that she would to a top 1% player, but that doesn’t matter because you’re playing your hand to the best of your ability. And if it’s a choice between being sexless or getting a cute girlfriend, I say do what it takes, just as long as you she doesn’t expect anything that’s going to make you compromise your pride.
With that said, after 3 years of working on your SMV and your game, you might find yourself in the top 15% and can give fast speed player game another shot.
How good you are with women should be a big factor in determining your gameplan. You can be a really good looking guy but not have the experience and confidence to pull off a quick lay, so a medium term gameplan might be your move until you get your weight up. This is more common than you think, I’ve talked with many good looking guys who weren’t getting laid because of social anxiety and lack of confidence.
On the other hand, you could only have decent SMV, but be super confident and charming and be able to pull girls quickly and consistently. Confidence and skill are a big part of fast lays and that comes with experience and practice.
Quality Of The Girl
Maybe three times a year I meet a girl who has girlfriend potential for me – well dressed, baby face, kind heart + that x factor.
From 20 years in the game I can tell instantly if I’m going to be able to have strong feelings for the girl I’m talking to or if it’s just going to be a bit of fun.
When I meet a quality girl I’m going to play that prospect to the fullest. No dick picks, no risky jokes, no aggressive messaging, no aggressive ultra-fast moves. Sure I’ll ask her to come home on the first date but I know the answer will usually be no. My gameplan with a high quality girl is 3 date conversion game with the option for 5.
I never play specifically for a 5 date conversion, but I’ll allow it for a high quality girl, I might even take her to a few nice restaurants before we have sex (something I’d never do for a low to mid quality woman) because a good woman has a ton of value to me and I want to maximize my chances of getting her in my life.
Compare that to some DTF breezy off Tinder who I couldn’t give a fuck if I close or not and it’s not even a question. I can blast aggressive DTF game and be completely outcome independent because there are millions of other options. With a high quality woman, who has the potential to add value, I play smart.
Understanding the above factors is a crucial part of developing your gameplan, and the more variables you account for the better your gameplan will be. If you’re only interested in slow playing provider game with quality women, that’s all good.
But for most guys, you’ll need to be able to adapt to the situation as it presents itself.
You might run ultra-fast, aggressive tinder game, but also be slow playing girls in your social circle. Or you might be a seasoned player who finds himself in a small city and now has to play slow, low profile social circle game to get the few quality women in that town.
Whatever the move is, being adaptable is key to getting the results you want. So that every time you message or talk to a girl you know exactly what to say and how to execute your gameplan. In part 3 of this series I’ll show you exactly how do that.
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